Happy Easter

Happy Easter everyone. I'm looking forward to the bird my wife is going to cook. I cant wait. Been feeling ok the past several days.

The Doc took me off my daily chemo pill for this week, he said he wants to see if that will affect my blood counts any better. Looks like my blood counts are not going up like they used too. I have been feeling fine, no pain anywhere or anything else. I did loose 6 pounds though. Got weighed 2 weeks ago and I was at 294, my normal is 300-298. Got weighed again a week later and it was the same, 294. The doc doesn't seem very concerned, hell, it is only 6 pounds and my wife has not been feeling very well and she did not do much cooking that week. I am going in for blood labs again in a few days, they will take my weight then.

We have the kids for Easter again this year. That did not surprise me. Out of around 6 grand from taxes, the mom is now broke again.

I have been feeling very tired the last few days and have no energy for anything. I am starting to get sick of not having the energy to do anything. I have recently decided that I want to start collecting baseball cards again and there are a few things that need to be done in the basement to store them. I have not had the energy to move the crap and take the table apart. It's frustrating. I hope this will pass, I may have to ask the doc if he can prescribe a steroid or something.

Other than that I have been feeling normal. My condition is still very serious, but the doc says I look great and we are doing real good. I'm going to beat this beast. I am going to make sure those kids have access to a loving stable home. I thank the Good Lord everyday for every sunrise he shows me. My family and friends and company I work for could not be more supportive. I am very thankful for that. If I were to have to worry about my job, or income, I don't think that I could take it.

April 1st will be 11 months since my diagnosis, my tumor has shrunk by 2 to 2 1/8 CM there are still spots on my liver but they have not grown. My last CT scan showed no new cancer and no growth in the tumor with possibly a little shrinkage the spots on my liver remain the same, no change. So, no new cancer, no growth and possible a little shrinkage = Great News! The doc is not letting up from chemo, we are hitting this thing hard. I feel great and am prepared for anything they throw at me.

I have had a relapse and am smoking again. Not alot, I smoke maybe 3-4 cigs a day. I'm not sure why I'm doing it. I'm fucked in the head or something. But I do know one day, I will not smoke anymore.

That's where I stand. I am not going anywhere. I'm here fighting and will continue to do so!!!

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!

Good News

Got some good news yesterday. I received my CT scan results. The results showed no change in the spots on my liver, however the tumor in my pancreas shrank a little bit possibly. The reason I say possibly is due to the measurement point and slice they looked at. But the important thing is the results showed no growth and no spreading and possible shrinkage. Great News!!!!

The doc is very happy how things are going for me, he says my attitude could not be better and to keep doing what I'm doing. I had chemo yesterday, we are not letting up. The doc said I could have a few so I celebrated last night and got pretty drunk.

It felt real good letting off a little steam. I slept for 14 hours today, so I'm feeling pretty good. My lady couldn't be happier as well.

We have to stay on top of this beast, the doc told me yesterday of a guy that he is treating that 2 months ago his tumor shrank by 30%, but just 2 weeks later it started growing again, fast, so we can't let up.

I pray to the good lord everyday for strength, I feel that he has a plan for me. My friends and family could not be more supportive and I am very thankful they are with me. I am going to beat this beast, I will fight to my very last ounce of strength.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!   NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!

Still Here

Still here and doing ok. Been feeling ok the past few days. Also been doing a lot of sleeping. Slept 30 hours last Sunday. Went to bed at 230 Sunday Morning, got out of bed at 0830 Monday Morning. Then took a nap that afternoon. This chemo is getting to me.

I can't eat anything without it tasting like crap. I get this horrible tin/metal aftertaste in my mouth when eating. I'm getting real sick of that. I know why people in my position usually loose weight now. Why eat when everything tastes like shit? But, I force it down. I ain't going to loose any weight. I think that's what is helping me a lot. The doctor says I am very strong. I think the weight is behind that a little.

I guess I was in pretty bad shape at the start of this. I asked the doc last week where we were going with the chemo, trying to kill the cancer so I can be rid of it, or just extending my life for a few months. He told me that the chemo is my friend, it is doing it's job and if I would not have started it when I did, I would not be here now.

The doc has been really happy with my progress, my last CT scan showed the cancer not growing and the spots on my liver shrinking. I am going for another CT scan next week and am very hopeful. The doc says if it's good news I may be able to take a break from chemo, he didn't say how long, but I hope it's long enough for me to get my taste buds back at least. If that's the case, I'm heading north. Going up north to get some good pizza, and see my parents. I wish I lived a little closer to them, but oh well. I have a very good job and have been told I will have it as long as I want. My company could not be working with me more. They are behind me 100% and helping me to beat this beast. I am going to WIN THIS WAR!!!!!!

I pray to the good lord above everyday for strength and thank him for the time that he has given me. I thank him for everyday I'm alive.

I can't wait to get back to work. Working from home was ok for the first couple weeks, now it sucks. I feel like a prisoner. But......it's not going to be forever, same with the taste buds......I am hoping I have this cancer on the ropes. My next scan will tell me. So guys, wish me luck.


NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!!!