Tuesday, July 31

Back To Work

Well, It's been a few days since I last posted here. I went back to work. I am working from home now.

It's been alright. I am keeping my mid shift and It has been kinda hard to stay up all night but I have managed.

Since I have been working out of my basement, when I get off work I go upstairs and sleep all day.  When I get up, I avoid the basement. LOL.

I still feel very good. Just tired. I go in for chemo today, we will see if working has affected my blood count. It probably has because when I was not working I slept  a lot. We will see.

My boss has told me that I can work from home as long as it takes. I am hoping that these drugs are working and I will be able to return to work and be sitting at my desk in a couple months.

With the lords help, and the support from all of my family and friends I am going to beat this thing.

We took the kid back last week. Have not heard anything from the bum, which is good. Probably will on the first when his mom gets her check. The scum fuck up north is already bugging her for money. Both these scum fucks know they ain't gonna get squat from me, the worthless freeloaders.

Later All

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!

Wednesday, July 25

Side Note

We are taking the kid back to his parents today. He starts school in a week, we ain't dealing with that crap. The lady called the bum last night to inform him of our intentions.....LOL. He told her he doesn't know how that's going to work out. They are still in the hotel and the bus does not go out that far........well, looks like your going to have to RAISE YOUR OWN KID now buddy.

Fuck I can't believe these people. We have had their kid all summer. They have called 2 times I think to talk to him period. The kid wanted to stay with his folks for a night or two a couple weeks ago. He stayed 2 nights and called for me and the lady to come get him, my lady heard the mother in the back ground telling the kid what to say. Do you believe that shit? She did not want him there any longer. Didn't want to put up with him I guess. Trying to entertain an 8 year old in a hotel room is rather difficult I can imagine. Well guess what people, your gonna have too now. I don't understand it. This kid is very well behaved. Very well. He's not the run all over, hyper, constantly need direction type. You tell him to sit and play with his toys he does, he's no trouble at all. His fucking parents are the problem. It is obvious that they don't want the kid. That's sad. I like the little guy, not enough to become his legal guardian though. Screw that. He is more than welcome to visit. Not live here. Period.

I heard these people are paying 800.00 a month to stay in that crappy hotel. Sheesh, for 8 a month they could find a nice apt. or maybe a house. These people are tards. I could give a shit about these people. The bum called last week I think it was, he ran out of gas and was in a parking lot somewhere, wanted us to bring him a gallon. Ha, I said the neighbor has our gas can, don't have any cash to go buy another (I just didn't want too) and for him to call his wife, or one of his friends, we could not help him. He never called back, I am assuming that he found somebody. I don't care. We ain't running his kid to school either, or picking him up. Period. This fuck knew this day was coming. I'm hoping he moves himself and and his scum ass wife back to scum town where he belongs. I'm taking back what I said earlier. If they do decide to move, I ain't giving them a penny.

My Blood Count Keeps Rocking!

Well, up a little early today. Went to the doc did my chemo, the doc said I'm doing really good and my blood count was off the charts. He said I have very very good bone marrow, my platelet count was at 247. He said since I am doing so well, he is going to sched me for a 4th chemo treatment before they take a CT scan to see where we are at. We are hitting this crap hard. I feel it in my heart I'm going to beat this, a couple of my friends and mother have stated the same. I have noticed that every time that I go in for chemo, I am the youngest one there all the time. I am hoping with a little help from above and the support from all of my friends and family that I will beat this and be able to continue on with my life. The good lord I hope is watching over me.

I did not start work last night, with my chemo yesterday, going into work to pick up a work laptop, stopping at the lady's doctor and running a few more errands by the time I got home I was beat and it was about 6 in the evening with me wanting to start work at 10, I did not get a chance to take a nap so I decided not to work. I called my boss and he basically told me that I could work anytime I want as long as I get my 40 hours a week in, so I'm ok in that dept.

I have noticed something, since I have been diagnosed, a little before that I think, my dog has not let me out of his sight. He follows me around constantly. He did that before but not this closely. I mean if he is in a room sleeping he wakes up and looks for me, if the door is closed and I am not there he barks. I have read that animals, especially dogs and cats can sense, smell certain diseases, like that cat in the nursing home a few years ago. He would go sit in front of a persons bed that is going to pass soon. Maybe my dog can sense/smell the monster inside of me.

I have changed my mind in the vinyl dept. I am going to continue to collect them. CD's, 8-tracks, laser discs, etc.......    I have figured out how to maximize my space down here. I can't do it now because my finances are a little low, but as soon as I am able I will re-arrange this room and everything will fit with a lot of shelf space to spare for growth. Video games, baseball cards, and records.

I am glad I do not drink anymore. I have not even craved a beer since I stopped. Tried the non-alcohol stuff it tastes just like beer, but It just does not go down. I do plan on having a real beer though. That is going to happen next year on May 29th (the day I got diagnosed)  if my prognosis is good. I am going to go down to the local bar, me and the lady and I am going to have 1 pint. That is my goal. Then the year after that I am going to have 2 pints....etc. That's my plan. I am going to beat this. I am very determined and my attitude could not be better. I do not know if it's not drinking anymore, the drugs I'm on or what, but I feel better now than I have in a very very long time. Years actually.

I did notice and realize this yesterday though. Before I went to immediate care, the place that started all of this, I was having stomach aches constantly for about 1 1/2 months. I didn't pay it no mind. Figured it was something I ate or the stomach flu. Well, a constant stomach ache is a symptom of pancreas cancer. I had no idea. Well, I can say now that since I started chemo I have not had any stomach problems at all, none. They even gave me meds to take for nausea. I have never had to take them. I am hoping that the lack of stomach problems means that this chemo is working and killing this cancer. I am hopeful.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!

Tuesday, July 24

Been a Few Days

It's been a few days since I posted here. Everything is still going good. I feel great, no problems at all.

I go in for chemo today, I want to see what My blood count is, I had last week off.

I am returning to work in a sense, I start working from home tonight. I wonder how that is going to go.

Gotta get ready to go to the DOC.

See Ya's

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!

Thursday, July 19

Normal

Woke up feeling pretty good today. I'm sitting here on my 2nd cup of coffee.Had to put some water in the pool this morning, it was low. With all of this hot weather we have been having and the sun being relentless the water is evaporating quickly. I need to keep a certain water lvl in there for the pump. The pump is cooled by the water it pumps, if there is no water to pump it will burn up, so I have to make sure that water lvl is up.

Found some algae growing on the side this morning, scrubbed that off, I'm going to have to go to the store and get some pool shock to kill it off, no biggie, gotta get some more chlorine as well, it has been awhile since I dumped some in. The water is nice and clear though, it ain't going green.

Man, I slept all day yesterday and went to bed last night at 10 and slept till 7 this morning. This chemo is hitting me hard, I'm always tired. It's a small price to pay though considering these drugs might be killing the cancer inside of me.

I go in next week for my 3rd round of chemo. Do that once a week for 3 weeks then they will take a CT scan and see how these drugs are doing. Oh, I hope they are working. I'm going crazy wanting to know, the waiting is the hardest. I think they are working because I feel fine. No pain anywhere, have my appetite, and going to the john on a regular basis. The doctor told me most people can not take 3 rounds in a row due to their blood, me, my blood work keeps coming back excellent so that is a big plus.  I am keeping my weight up as well.

Gotta take the lady in for a doc appt. today, this one is here in town so that's a plus. I really don't feel like going into the city today.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!    NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!


Wednesday, July 18

Blood Work

Had my blood work done yesterday, the doc said it looked really good. My platelet count was low but he stated that was to be expected. He did say that most people have a count that low after going through 2 cycles of chemo, I have gone through 3 so that's good. I feel good today, got some sleep last night and slept in this morning, woke up at 0630, lol

The lady ain't doing so hot, she got some shots in her back for the last 3 weeks and they have not helped her, in fact she says the the shots have made her pain worse. I might have to take her into to her doctor today to see why she is in so much pain.

I really don't have any plans today at all, so if she needs to go, it won't get in the way of anything.

Have not heard anything from the bum, ya think that he or his wife would call ya know, to check up and talk with their kid? Nada, nothing. These people take the cake. I am sure the bum wants my lady to adopt him, but that ain't gonna happen, screw that. If it were to happen, (not that it ever will) I'm sure the bum has no idea what I will put on them. I will go after them for child support, insurance and anything else I can make them pay, period.

Not hearing anything from them has me assuming  they are still staying in a hotel. The grand kid has said on occasion that when they did have a place the bum and his wife never left the bedroom, that's where the TV and computer was, so living in a hotel is probably regular for them. Who the fuck knows?

I do know this, the kid is going back with them next week whether they have a place or not, period.

Man I hate dealing with scum.

Tuesday, July 17

Back Home

Got back yesterday, had a great time up North. Everything is normal, here I am having my morning coffee and reading the news. I feel good today, going in later for some blood work, not doing chemo this week.

I had a really good time up north this time, we had this impromptu picnic and a lot of my family showed up, many I have not seen in years, it was great. The only low point was me being tired all the time. That is the only side effect I am showing from chemo so far, being tired all the time. Other than that I feel great.

I got some real good pizza up there. I have been around the world and I have not had pizza that can even compare to the pizza in scumtown.

I really liked being back home with my folks for a few days and seeing old friends and family members. I do not know when I will get the chance to go back.

Well, school for the grand kid starts in a couple weeks. His folks better have a place because he is going back with them. I have informed my lady that he is not staying here while going school. The whole summer is enough. I value my mornings. It is a time for me to relax with my coffee and just veg in front of the computer. My lady usually sleeps till around 10 or 11or so. We are not getting up to get him off to school. That is not our job.

If the bum does not have a place, getting his kid back may be an incentive. Try to entertain an 8 year old in a hotel room, ha! Right now they only have a baby that sleeps all the time. The kid is not coming over after school either, screw that crap. He can stay on the weekends but that's it.

God I wish that bum would just go back to scumtown where he belongs.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!

Monday, July 9

Bath Day

We are going to try and give the dog a bath today. He is smelling pretty bad. We have only given him 1 other bath in the past, he never needed one, well he is getting older now and his skin is starting to get very dry. He did not like the last bath we gave him but he was a lot younger then. He may enjoy this one.

My lady brushed him last night, he ate that up, he never liked to be brushed either but he loved it last night. I am thinking it may go the same with the bath, I hope so.

Going up North tomorrow, I can't wait to see my folks. Not looking forward to the drive, but that can't be helped. My lady has stated that she wants to drive most of the way this time. I'm going to have to think about that. I do not like leaving my house for extended periods, I'm a homebody. I have informed my neighbor that we are going to be out of town and he has agreed to keep an eye on the house.

With the bum here I really do not like the idea of leaving, hard telling what that guy might pull especially now that he is living in a hotel. But, I have advised my neighbor that if there are any strange cars lurking around to call the police and myself, he has both my lady's and I's cell phone numbers.

Feeling pretty good today, I go in for chemo later. I really hope that these drugs are doing their job.


Sunday, July 8

Sunday

Feeling real good this morning, got a bunch of sleep last night. Went to the city yesterday, the lady got a couple fish for her tank, me, I got a Papa Murphy's pizza. It sucked, I ruined it by over cooking it, man I was mad, but oh well.

Well, it looks as if we are going up North in a few days, I can't wait to see my parents, I'm looking forward to it. We are going to stay there for 4 days, can not stay any longer due to doctors appts. My folks have a little picnic planned for next Saturday with all of my family that are up there to attend so I can see them. I am very much looking forward to that.

I am going to beat this disease, I am really scared but full of determination. With the Lords help I will beat it. I have since become a better person because of this disease. I hate no longer. I can not believe how much of my life I wasted hating. It made me miserable and my lady as well. Sure, I still dislike some people, but hate no longer. I have since come to value my life and look to better it and others lives around me.

I still am not going to let my lady's family take advantage of her, those are the few people I still dislike, but, I tolerate them for her sake.

I do not have anything planned for today except to go pick up my medicine and that's it. It's going to be a lazy day for me. I did do alot of sleeping yesterday, slept for around 12 hours all combined. I feel really good this morning though, on my second cup of coffee and going strong, LOL.

We do have a financial issue that I will take care of in 2 weeks, I let the lady know about it last night, she got pretty upset and started to cry, I advised her that everything is taken care of and we are going to be fine. I am glad that she knows everything now. From now on I am not going to hide anything from her. I hid things from her in the past because she gets so worked up and upset. Not any longer. She lives here to, I am not going to shield her from the truth any longer. In the past I have let bills slide because she wanted something, etc....... No longer. I just like seeing her happy. I'm going to have to deal with it now. The issue is not very bad and will be resolved in 2 weeks, but that did not stop her from going overboard, moping around the house all last night, not eating......crap like that. I hope today she is over it.

I do not need this crap to worry about, I advised her that last night. My lady can be quite melodramatic at times, last night was one of them. She better be over it today or we will have to have a talk. I do not need her bringing me down.

Other than that I feel peachy, really good. I am going to beat this.

Saturday, July 7

Feeling Good

Feeling pretty good this morning, I hope this trend continues. I feel normal, no pain or anything anywhere. I am hoping that is the cancer drugs working to kill the cancer inside of me. I want to think that if they were not working I would be getting worse. I will not know till I take my next CT scan probably in about 5 weeks. I sure do hope these drugs are working. I still am showing no side effects from the chemo other than being tired sometimes.

The bills are starting to roll in, boy I am glad I got some pretty good ins. I do not know where I would get all of the money to pay for these treatments. I had to call the hospital to make payment arrangements on one very large bill. I am just going to have to pay it off on a monthly basis, but, it is going to continue to go up as long as I keep being treated. Oh well. I do not need to make any big purchases anyways, I have all that I want actually. (Except a house on the beach in Guam......LOL) That's a dream of mine.

The bum came over again last night. The lady cooked dinner for them so the bums wife could do my lady's hair. Nothing much happened really, they came, they ate, they left. I felt good getting rid of them. I was nice, it was not easy.

Taking the lady to the city today, she wants to do some shopping. I might pick up a Papa Murphy's pizza, I like those. Other than that I don't have anything else planned for today. It's gonna be good to get out of the house for a few hours.

I have come to a decision regarding the Vinyl collection. I am done. I am not going to be buying records any longer. I have enough. The ones I do have I'm placing on the shelf to collect dust. I want to concentrate on video games and baseball cards. Now I just need to build the shelves.

I want to do a complete overhaul in this basement. I have this desk that is giant size I want to get rid of and am thinking of moving the stereo upstairs in the living room and hooking it to the TV for surround sound. I am also thinking of selling my big DJ speakers, I never use them and do not listen to loud music any longer. I know that I am not going to get what they are worth out of them, maybe I'll just rent a storage unit and put everything in there. Not sure yet.

I do know that I am never going to be a heavy drinker again, period. If I get past this disease I am only going to drink beer.....maybe, that's a big maybe, on special occasions. I can not believe how much of my life I wasted being drunk. I had a problem and I thank the Lord up above for bringing me around.

Time for another coffee......Later All!

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!


Friday, July 6

Whew, no bum

The bum didn't show last night which is good I was really tired and had a hard time falling to sleep. Feel pretty good this morning though. I think they maybe coming over later today, I hope those plans change. I may just hang down here in the basement today.

Nothing really planned for today other than try and stay cool, it is going to be in the 100's again today, man I hate hot weather. If I could get a job in Alaska doing what I do, I would move in a minute, but oh well.

Guess I'm just going to have to keep wishing like everybody else for a lotto win...LOL.

I have started back on the anxiety pills, I was having very bad thoughts and was just about to crack, so, I'm part of the zombie nation again, they make me feel better anyways.

Thursday, July 5

The Day After

Nothing going on, feeling pretty good this morning. On my 2nd cup of coffee.

Well, the bum did come over last night, it wasn't that bad. He picked up some big fireworks and lit them off. Now, I don't understand this. They are homeless living in a hotel, although, he can spend money on fireworks. Man, these people really take me. But, scum will be scum, simple as that. I have noticed in the past it is usually people that don't have a penny to their name are the ones that spend big bucks on crap like that, that is why they have no cash, lol.

I got some firecrackers for 3 bucks. Lit them off, I have not done anything like that since I was a kid. It was fun, I got 3 bucks worth of enjoyment out of it, hehehehe. I don't spend much money on crap like that, and will never do it. It's a waste period. Might as well put a couple 20's on the ground and light them on fire and watch them burn, that's how I look at it anyways.

I will say this, the lady finally admitted she thinks the bum is an idiot. All this time she was praising him for the IQ that she said he had when she had him tested in high school, she would say " he is very smart, scored really high on the IQ test one of the highest in the school". Well you can have a high IQ and still be dumb as a box of rocks, what she does not understand is an IQ is a measurement of your learning ability, not your smarts. Now, the bum is lazy, he don't want to learn anything, hence him being an idiot. The worst kind actually, he thinks he's smart. Oh, well, these people are scum and that's that. My lady knows how I feel about her brood and has accepted it, I think she is disappointed in both of them as well, but she can do nothing.

Other than that, I feel great today actually. Gotta go into the city later for a doctors appt. for the lady. She is going in for the last shot in her back, I'm glad, crap, these procedures take at least 3 hours, they don't do the crap till late in the afternoon and we usually don't get home till after 8 that sucks, but oh well don"t have anything else to do.

The bum might come over tonight as well because his wife is off, I'm hoping we get back and it's too late, putting up with the guy for 1 day is enough, I don't think I could stand 2 days.

Wish me luck. Later All

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!

Wednesday, July 4

Side Note

I quit taking those anxiety pills, they were turning me into a zombie and I could not think straight. The lady liked me on them because I was totally compliant and non argumentative. Screw that. I'm going to think what I want and speak my mind, I always have and always will.

My lady has this talent of avoiding the truth, then she forgets and acts like nothing has ever happened. Her sons exploit that fully. They both have treated her like whale shit several times in the past. To both come back and not even apologize and act as if nothing went on as well. Well, I am not side stepping the truth any longer, If it upsets my lady she can leave, I am not keeping her here.

I am not taking any more anxiety pills either. I have come to except that fact that I have cancer and am going to fight it till my last breath.

Happy 4th

It's the 4th. Nothing different today on the docket really. I told the lady yesterday "that I really am in no mood to put up with the her bum son, but, if she really wants to BBQ and have him over, I guess I could tolerate him for a few hours" she really did not like that comment.

Even though she has called him a bum on several occasions. I am so sick and tired of her family. These two bums can do nothing for themselves. It's pathetic. It has come down to the point that I am actually considering splitting up and shipping her back to scum town, It is obvious her son up there needs her constant attention. I am through being the "nice guy" I am through taking taking care of her. It is time for me to start taking care of myself. I am not going to think of her first any longer. If being with her is a detriment to my health, I'm going ship her off, simple as that.  I told her yesterday I am no longer going to think of her first any more. We had a little tift in the doctors office that opened my eyes. She said some things that gave me a little insight into where she sees this relationship I think. Most of our fights are about her no-load family anyways.

The stress that these two no-loads pile onto us is mind boggling to say the least.

Other than that rant from above, I feel pretty good this morning. I had my 5th round of chemo yesterday, the nurse said my blood work looked amazing, so that's a plus. I just hope that these chemo drugs I'm taking are doing their job. I hope and pray they are.

Well that's it for my 4th of July post. They are calling for rain today, I really don't feel like BBQing, even if the bum does come over.

Later All, God Bless

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!

Monday, July 2

July 2

Well, not much going on today. Woke up had my coffee, I feel pretty good. Added some chlorine to the pool it needed it. Don't plan on doing much of nothing today, probably play video games.

The 4th is two days away. We have not gotten alot of rain, it rained last night for a little while I think from the looks this morning. I hope some stupid redneck don't start any fires with his stupid fireworks.
That is one thing I could never understand, maybe I'm a cheapskate, I don't know. I could never bring myself to pay good money for stupid fireworks, period. I smoke and that in a sense is burning money, but sheeesh, I could never spend the kind of money some people spend on that crap. Ask them what they are celebrating, I bet that they could not even tell you, ask them what the fireworks signify, they would probably be clueless.

The lady and I really don't have any plans for the 4th. She mentioned inviting the bum over for a little BBQ, I don't know about that. The stupid bum has been living in a hotel for the past 3 weeks, lol. He would probably jump at that chance of some real food.

One thing did happen about a week ago I think I should mention. He was talking to the lady on the phone, asked if him and his wife could come over for supper. My lady said she would have to check with me, hehehe, he told her not to worry about it. HA! That bum knows I ain't taking any of his shit, period. I am not going to let him use my wife at all. That's why he told her not to worry about it.

Now we have the other bum son up North bugging us. He wants to borrow 50 bucks from his mom. Why he says borrow is beyond me. He is never going to pay it back.  He lost his job which is par for the course actually. The guy gets a job works a few weeks then gets canned........ah, but, it's always somebody else who is to blame, or something that he had no control over. Ya right, I say, he's lazy, he don't want to work. He wants his wife to support him like before. Man these 2 are a real piece of work, I'll tell ya.

I wish they would both just leave us alone.

Sunday, July 1

Hung Some Shelves For The Wife

Did that yesterday, she's happy. I still want to do some work in the basement, but, been feeling a little tired lately.

I do feel great in the AM when I first wake, then it's down hill, lol.

For those of you that read this I have this link to share.

http://www.curcuminresearch.org/cancer.html

I have been taking tumeric spice 3 times daily in my V8 juice. Curcumin is the primary ingredient in that spice. It has been known to fight cancer. That link above gives a bunch of info, what I found very interesting is that curcumin makes chemo stronger. I hope to get through this and with Gods help I will.

Think I might work on the basement today.

Later All

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!