Having my coffee/ice water. Just woke up. The pain is there today. I am out of 1 of my types of pain pills. The lower ones. A am supposed to take the big ones on schedule because they are timed release to set up a barrier for the pain. The lower ones are to be used every 6 hours to take care of the pain that breaks through that set barrier. Last week I was feeling so bad I took more than I was supposed to of the lower ones and my prescription can not be filled till Tuesday!!!! I am going to talk to the nurse today and see if something can be done. My pain is getting better by the way, I can not believe I tolerated worse last week.
I still can not sleep on my right side......this is getting on my nerves and laying on my back for the treatments still kills me. I think I have 6-8 more treatments to go. Don't know if I have gone halfway yet. I hope not. I was hopeful at halfway I would be pain free. We will see. Also these dam pain pills cause constipation......damn. That makes this pain worse as well. Boy I can not wait for this issue to pass. I am also going to ask the doc if this will come back. I am almost sure it will if the cancer keeps growing, I would just like to know how much relief I can look forward to. But, I am going back on the chemo drugs that killed the cancer and made it shrink last time when these treatments are over I think. I am also taking stronger tumeric, concentrated in a pill form and black seed oil pills that have been proven to prevent the spread and kill cancer cells.
I don't know about those 2. It can't hurt, but I have no idea if they will work or not. Steve Jobs was a very dedicated naturalist. He used natural supplements and other things to treat his cancer. It still got him. My cousin advised me of another natural supplement that shows promise. Hemp oil, but that is very expensive and illegal here still. I am willing to try anything. I have heard that a person can live without their pancreas but have not done any indepth research on how their quality of life would be.
After dealing with this pain for so long, I can now understand how important quality of life is. If I were to be told that there is nothing that can be done about my pain and I would have to live with it till the end. I think I would look for options of going out. I would not be able to/want to live the rest of my life like that. Don't get me wrong. I am NOT giving up, I am NOT going to quit the fight, I AM still very faithful and I AM very strong. The first year I had this beast on the ropes, it has since fought back a little. I am on top of this mutha and will not let up.
With the support of my family, all my friends and help from the Good Lord above. I will beat this thing.
NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh another thing. I'm so pissed. I have been smoking a lot more since I started getting this pain. The cigs help me cope. The lady don't know and as far as I'm concerned she ain't gonna find out. I do not need to complicate my life any more than it is. If she were to find out, she would be constantly on my back about it and then I would end up tossing her. Don't want to do that, but if it happens, it happens.
Later All
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