Work

Well my work week begins today. I work from home now so it's not that bad. Been saving a bunch on gas. I have an hour commute each way so working from home is alright.

Had chemo yesterday, caught the doc in the hallway while I was leaving and he said my lab and blood work looked really good so I'm still on the right track I hope. I have been feeling pretty good, no pain or anything so that's a good sign I think.

These dam kids are really starting to get on my nerves. I think I may have to sit down and have a talk with the lady, I can't take this crap for very much longer. My lady is doing the bitch a huge favor by watching them, but, my lady does not see it that way because they are her grand kids. Now the fucking 8 year old is in band at school and he chose the play the violin. I guess he is supposed to practice 1 hour each day. My lady put him in the basement yesterday, I came down and kicked the kid out, I ain't gonna put up with that fucking noise. I really hope his dam mother decides to move back up north, man I wish that would happen. I was a dumb fuck for letting the bum come stay with us the time he was going to be homeless. That is the only reason they decided to stay here, also his fucking mother is here and he can mooch off of her. That is one mistake I am never going to make again in my life.

Hell, the other son wanted to live with us for awhile with his fucking family, I said no and it is never going to happen. Ya know, when I first met my lady she told me she had 2 grown kids, I figured that's cool, they are adults no problem. Man I wish I knew then what I know now. If I would have known that both her fucking kids are bum mama's boys, I never would have hooked up with my lady. Both of her kids are pathetic losers.

I just found this out a couple days ago, the bums wife cheated on him with 3 guys, not just one. He knows about it and still loves the bitch and wants to remain with her. Do you believe that crap? What a pathetic excuse for a man. He is a big wuss, period. He don't wanna stay with her for the kids sake, no, he loves her. I bet she is the first chick the guy ever got to screw, that's sad. They have been together the lady says for over 10 years. Man what a panty waste this dude is. I don't think the guy ever had a father figure growing up, so, that kinda explains how much of a little pansy the guy turned out to be. His kid is probably going to turn out the same way, I ain't gonna be the kids father figure, screw that. It's not my job, and I don't want it. The kid is already a very big mama's boy, you can blame my lady for that. She babies him constantly, I ain't going to say anything because it's not my place. He is her grand child.

The other son is a man, he tries to take care of his family, not a big wuss, he's just dumb as a box of rocks and lazy.

Neither of them even if they wanted too could not join the service, they both have criminal records and the one up north didn't finish high school. The bum was in the service, the Air Force, but he quit. He could not take it. That does not surprise me at all.

Well, I have ranted about her worthless family for long enough. Feeling real good today, didn't get much sleep last night. Probably take a nap this afternoon.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!

Chemo Today

I go in for chemo today. Been feeling really good after the news last week. Nothing much has been happening. I am curious as to what my blood count is going to be today. The doc told me last week now that I have been on chemo for awhile, my blood counts will start to get lower and lower and that I may be only able to take chemo 2 times a month. Well, we will see this afternoon. I am hopeful my blood counts will not be that low. I know they will be up there today because I did not do chemo last week.

I am going to beat this with the Lords help and support of my friends and family. My lady is the greatest. My only complaint is her dam kids. Since the bum is in jail, the bitch wife has to work and my lady has been watching the kids. At first I did not mind the 8 yr. old, but now they both are starting to get on my nerves. I'm getting sick of them. The lady has been doing all the work with them and I am starting to see it is taking it's toll.

A baby is a 24 hour job, and she is watching the 8 yr. old as well, getting up in the AM early to get his ass off to school and shit. I may have to get involved and tell the bitch that's enough. Find somebody else. Not to mention now I have to deal with a screaming baby in my house. My lady is well aware I am not going to take much of that shit and has been keeping the baby pretty quiet.

Other than that, I feel really good. No pain anywhere or anything. I'm tired all the time. But oh well, if that is the only side effect that I get from this chemo, I'll take it. Working at night is a choir, trying to stay awake that is, but I have been managing. I am just glad my boss is behind me and supporting like he is. I am going to ask the doc today about returning to work fully, I will see what he has to say.

Well, gotta go get ready for my doc visit.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!

GOOD NEWS!!!!!

Got my CT scan results. The tumor has shrunk. It was 5 centimeters, now it is 4, the spots on my liver are starting to shrink as well. These drugs are working!!! There were nodules in my chest cavity as well, they are now gone. The doctor said I am doing great and to keep it up. This is very good news for me. We have stopped the cancer from growing and now it is shrinking.

I am going to be still doing Chemo with the same drugs the doc said, until we see no improvement, then he will add other drugs to to the mix to fight this thing. The bad thing about this cancer is, it can become resistant to chemo drugs. I hope in my case it does not. But, it is not spreading, it's shrinking..........WOOHOOO!!!!

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!     NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!

CT Scan Tomorrow

Looking for ward to my CT scan tomorrow. I get the results on Wed........I hope these drugs are working. I hope, I hope. I go in early in the morning. I have to drink this gross stuff tonight.

Went to the bums arranment, he is charged with 2 felonies and a couple lesser charges. The felonies could bring 10-20 years a piece. I think his bitch wife wanted this to happen so that he is out of the picture. I don't know. I do know that the bitch is going to be raising her fucking kids by herself. They ain't gonna be over here while she is out screwing her boyfriend.

The grandkid stated that his mom is thinking about moving back up north.........oh......please let that happen.

The bum has another court date next week, I guess then we will see what the deal is. He may goto prison.....I don't like the guy, but I would not wish that on anybody. He does not deserve prison. His wife does, the bitch. Not him. She knew what the fuck she was doing. A person can only take so much. The bum was stupid going over there though. I would have just packed up my shit and got the fuck out of there and divorced the bitch. If I was him I would move to the west coast, start life over......screw the bitch.

But, the bum is lazy. If he gets out, he is goingto stay around and mooch off of all that he can. Now he has a criminal record.....he is never goingto get a job. Not that he wll try anyways. He ain't staying here.

Feeling real good otherwise. Later All!!

Bum Update

Well it looks as if the bum has grown a pair. Don't know if I mentioned this earlier but the bums wife has been cheating on him for awhile now. She has been sleeping around with a younger guy she met at work. The bum was letting this happen. What a spineless fuck. It came to a head today I guess.

Apparently the slut went to work, found out she did not have to work today and it's off to the boyfriends. The bum called her work for something and they told him she was not working today. So, I guess he went over to the boyfriends house. Now, why he didn't kick the shit out of the boyfriend and the slut before now is beyond me. But, he got there I guess and beat the boyfriend up and now is in jail. Don't know if the boyfriend got arrested, but we heard there was a gun involved. No shots where fired I don't think.

He left the kids with a hotel neighbor he knows, but now we got them. The slut is nowhere to be found. She is not answering her phone.

They have night court here in this town, so the bum maybe released if the slut don't bail him out first. Don't know how long we are going to have the kids, but the grandkid said he has a field trip with school tomorrow, I said your going to miss it if your parents do not pick you up tonight. We ain't taking you to school in the morning.

Hell, I don't even know were the dam school is, neither does the lady. That baby better sleep all fucking night, I ain't gonna deal with the crap. That's why I'm down here.

Well, I'm filling up the pool right now, It may be complete. Next I have to back wash the pump and add the chemicals, fun fun.

Well, that's the bum update. Why he let this shit go on for so long is beyond me. I would have left the slut after she did it twice. First time can be forgiven, we all have the idea of straying sooner or later. But two times, your outta here whore.

BTW, other than the Jerry Springer crap going on, I feel really good.

Later All

CT Scan Next Week

Went for Chemo yesterday. The Doc said my blood count was low, but he would treat me anyway. He said probably next week it will be to low for me to be treated, so, he is going to scan me to see where we stand. Oh......I hope these drugs are working. I can't wait. I'm a little nervous as well. If they are not working, I don't know what is going to happen. The prognosis for the type of cancer that I have is not very good if they can not get it to stop. It is in-operable they cannot cut it out. So......I am asking all to pray for me that the drugs are working as they should.

I still feel good. Eating normal and such, so that is a good sign. Work has been going ok, I sit here at night and go over old logs and trouble reports, it keeps me busy and productive. I hope to go back to work fully some day. I have spoken to my boss, he is very supportive of me and says my company is behind me 100%. I thank the lord for that. It is rare in today's atmosphere to find a company that values its employees in such a high manner. I am thankful. My desk is still the way I left, waiting for me to return. I work with a real good group of guys, I can't wait to get back in there. Hopefully.

I have done nothing in the basement. I go to bed every night and think the plans over in my head as to what I want to do. I hope I have the time left to do everything. I'm only 44, I am going to beat this. I have a good 40 years left in me at least. I'm strong and apparently my immune system rocks along with my blood, so that's in my corner.

I have decided that when I do beat this, I am no longer going to drink on a weekly basis. I will have a few on special occasions and I am going to get into shape. Lose the gut and build up my body.Smoking is a thing I will address at a later time. I need the cigs right now to help with the stress I'm under because of this disease.

I did have some financial worries a few weeks ago, but that problem has been taken care of and is complete, nothing big happened except making me broke......real broke, LOL. Oh well. I don't have to worry about it now.

Have not heard anything from the bums as far as I know. I do know that the bum that lives down here is not really looking for a place to live very hard. I think him and his wife like living in that dumpy hotel. They have the kid now so that makes 2 adults, 1 eight year old and a new born baby living in a hotel room with 2 double beds. It's pathetic. For the cash they spend on that hotel, they could find a nice apartment or house. Hell add 300 bucks to what they spend and that would be our house payment. Sheeesh. He's and idiot. He needs to get a job and stop sitting on his ass. They have 2 cars so that would not be a problem. I'm sure my girl would watch their kids if they both work at the same time.....for a price of course. The free ride is over. I will not let them use her any longer.

That's t for now. Wish me luck for next week. I am praying for good news.

Later All

Tired

Yep, I'm back at work, working from home. I have been really tired the last 3-4 days. I did not work last night wanted too, but I was beat. I must have slept 20 hours yesterday. I got up long enough to eat supper then went back to bed. This chemo, is getting to me. I am glad that the only side effects I have is the tired part. It's becoming a real pain though when I want to work. But, that can not be helped.

Like I said I slept all day yesterday. Got off work at 830, went to bed woke up at 6 PM, ate supper, laid back down planning on getting up at 930 to start work at 10. That did not happen. I woke up at 930 got out of bed, then went right back to bed. I could barely stand. Slept till 8 this morning. I am wide awake now. I needed that sleep. I need to get into the groove of things.

Staying up at night and sleeping during the day. I do sleep during the day, but end up sleeping at night as well.

I pray to the Lord above these drugs are working. The waiting is the hardest part. I think I'm going to go in for a CT scan in 3 weeks to find out. Initially I had 20 spots on my liver. I am hoping that those spots are now gone. The DOC says that the priority is getting the cancer to stop. Then we can work on getting it to go into remission. I hope we have stopped it. I think we have. I have not felt better actually. I feel great. If the cancer was spreading I would probably be getting sicker and I am not. I feel really good besides being tired all the time. No pain or anything. Still have my appetite and go to the bathroom regular. So we will see.

Really ain't done nothing in the basement beside move a few things around. I'm working down here now, so I'm down here more than usual.

Ain't heard nothing from the bums, as far as I know, so that's a good thing.