Oh Man, my dog is stinking bad!!!!! Took him to the vet last week and she told me he has a yeast infection. Gave me some medicine for him and we have been giving him that. It has been 4 days since his last bath and it's bad again. We gotta give him another bath tomorrow. The stench is almost unbearable. Man this sucks bad..........I never had any idea a bad smell constantly could disrupt and impact a persons life this way. I told the lady tonight, if we can not cure him, we gotta get rid of him, I can't take this smell. I know it's not his fault, but I am not going to keep him outside. I don't know what we are going to do. I'm hoping that we can get this infection under control. I do not want to get rid of my dog, but I can not live with this stench either.
On a higher note, I go in for my next CT scan on the 5th........Oh I hope it's good news. I know it's going to be. I have been feeling really good, no pain anywhere and all bodily functions normal. I have just been tired.
Another higher note.......I'm almost a non smoker. The lady has not had a cig in a week I think, and I am down to 1-2 a day. Had 1 yesterday and 1 1/2 today so far. This chantix is working. I feel that I do not need a cig, don't care really if I smoke one or not. I don't have that urge in me to go smoke one. The way I see it, probably in a few days I'll be down to zero. They say if you can go 3 days without, it's all downhill from there. The first 3 days are the hard part. Well, we will see.
I think not smoking has kicked my nose into working, I don't know. But, man the dog stinks. I wish my nose would go back to not working very good. I don't know how my lady stands it. Her nose works real good, better than average. All I can say is, this sucks!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 30
Tuesday, October 16
Late Night
Can't sleep. I really need to. I have to take the lady to the city in the morning for an appt. and then later do my chemo. I got a busy day tomorrow.
These meds are really starting to mess with my taste buds. I'm scared to eat, thinking when I do it's going to taste like total crap. This is torture to a guy that loves food as much as me.
So far it seems the only things affected are pizza, but, when eating there are some things that leave a little after taste. That is why I am scared to eat. I mean the after taste is horrible. If it's strong enough it makes me gag, and I feel like I'm going to puke. Just thinking about it now is making me feel kinda nauseous. But, if that is the price I must pay to beat this beast, so be it.
I love salads. That is the only thing so far that leaves no after taste what so ever. I have been eating alot of salads. When we go out to the buffetts, the salad bar is what I look most forward too.
I go in for chemo tomorrow. I am hoping I run into the doc, I want to ask him when my next scan will be. According to what he told me a couple weeks ago, I should be getting a scan next week. I pray that these chemo drugs are still working. I know they are. I can feel it. I still am taking tumeric daily, just not as much.
The swelling in my leg is completely gone now. Getting these blood clots is scaring me. I have to be very careful. I don't know if it's the cancer or the meds causing them. I'm thinking the cancer, because, a clot is what started all of this. I thank the lord up above for that clot.
Well Halloween is almost here. It don't feel like it. I'm kinda down. Working from home is starting to become a real pain. I hate it. Then, every time I walk upstairs I glance out at the pool and that pisses me off. That thing is more trouble than what it is worth. I'm going close that dam thing this year and probably wont even open it next year. It was only used 3 times this summer. It's got a boatload of leaves in it now, I'm going to have to clean them out before I close it.
These kids are really starting to get to me. I'm trying very hard to remain calm and easy going, but it's getting really rough. I think everyday, why are these kids here? It's not my fault their parents are idiots. Why is it falling on me to give them a stable home? They are not my kids. I know the good thing to do would be continue providing the home, and insure that they are safe. I don't want to see these kids get hurt, but they are not my responsibility either.
The lord has a plan. Maybe he sent that clot down on me, to get my ass into the doctor so I could be treated in time to beat the monster, so I would be around to make sure the kids get taken care of right, who knows. I do know that the way I was living my life before I got diagnosed was less than spectacular. I was wasting my life. I have a better outlook on life now, and cherish it. I'm not going to kick the kids or my lady out. I'll deal with it, I'm an adult. The lord wants me around for a reason. I ain't going anywhere, neither are the kids and my wife.
NEVER GIVE UP!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!
These meds are really starting to mess with my taste buds. I'm scared to eat, thinking when I do it's going to taste like total crap. This is torture to a guy that loves food as much as me.
So far it seems the only things affected are pizza, but, when eating there are some things that leave a little after taste. That is why I am scared to eat. I mean the after taste is horrible. If it's strong enough it makes me gag, and I feel like I'm going to puke. Just thinking about it now is making me feel kinda nauseous. But, if that is the price I must pay to beat this beast, so be it.
I love salads. That is the only thing so far that leaves no after taste what so ever. I have been eating alot of salads. When we go out to the buffetts, the salad bar is what I look most forward too.
I go in for chemo tomorrow. I am hoping I run into the doc, I want to ask him when my next scan will be. According to what he told me a couple weeks ago, I should be getting a scan next week. I pray that these chemo drugs are still working. I know they are. I can feel it. I still am taking tumeric daily, just not as much.
The swelling in my leg is completely gone now. Getting these blood clots is scaring me. I have to be very careful. I don't know if it's the cancer or the meds causing them. I'm thinking the cancer, because, a clot is what started all of this. I thank the lord up above for that clot.
Well Halloween is almost here. It don't feel like it. I'm kinda down. Working from home is starting to become a real pain. I hate it. Then, every time I walk upstairs I glance out at the pool and that pisses me off. That thing is more trouble than what it is worth. I'm going close that dam thing this year and probably wont even open it next year. It was only used 3 times this summer. It's got a boatload of leaves in it now, I'm going to have to clean them out before I close it.
These kids are really starting to get to me. I'm trying very hard to remain calm and easy going, but it's getting really rough. I think everyday, why are these kids here? It's not my fault their parents are idiots. Why is it falling on me to give them a stable home? They are not my kids. I know the good thing to do would be continue providing the home, and insure that they are safe. I don't want to see these kids get hurt, but they are not my responsibility either.
The lord has a plan. Maybe he sent that clot down on me, to get my ass into the doctor so I could be treated in time to beat the monster, so I would be around to make sure the kids get taken care of right, who knows. I do know that the way I was living my life before I got diagnosed was less than spectacular. I was wasting my life. I have a better outlook on life now, and cherish it. I'm not going to kick the kids or my lady out. I'll deal with it, I'm an adult. The lord wants me around for a reason. I ain't going anywhere, neither are the kids and my wife.
NEVER GIVE UP!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!
Friday, October 12
No More White Squares
The TV is fixed. That's good. Them dam squares were getting on my nerves. I asked the guy that came over and he said that he has done this about 15 times so far. That is alot considering my little town. Not too many people live here. It took him about an hour.
Only worked 5 hours last night, I felt like crap, still do. I hope these drugs are working and soon I can be cancer free.
Only worked 5 hours last night, I felt like crap, still do. I hope these drugs are working and soon I can be cancer free.
Thursday, October 11
Feeling Good
Feeling pretty good today. Just woke up a little while ago and on my 2nd cup of coffee. Had a real hard time falling asleep last night. Just wasn't tired, ended up going to bed at 2:30. I gotta work for the next 3 days, so I am going to have to try and get a nap in today sometime.
Well, everybody I have talked to and all that I have read says that this Chantix crap gives you screwed up dreams. I have not had any out of the ordinary that I can remember anyways. I'm still smoking, the lady is too. We are not smoking as much though, so that is a plus. I'm smoking more than her though.
The TV repair man is coming out this afternoon to fix our TV. The dam thing is less than 4 years old. It's a Mitsubishi 65" DLP. About a month ago, I noticed a little white square on the screen. Didn't think nothing of it. The next day there were 3. Took a closer look and they looked like dead pixels. How could this TV have dead pixels in the screen? It's a projection TV. I did a little research on the web and found out when they made these TV they used bad HD chips from Toshiba. There are thousands of people out there having the same problems with their TV's. Well, I read through their horror stories dealing with Mitsu and put off calling them not wanting to fight on the phone.
Well, last week was the last straw, there are now 28 little squares on the screen and they were getting annoying. I called Mitsu and they were aware of the problem and offered to pay for the replacement HD chip, around 800-900 bucks! All I had to pay for was the labor which is 200 I think. Scheduled that and they said they would send someone local out to fix the TV when they get the part. Got the call this morning. The guy is going to be here today. Cool.
Other than that, things have been kinda normal around here. I pray everyday that these chemo drugs are still working. I know they are, I can feel it. Boy, am I looking forward to my pizza binge when I beat this!!!! Screw beer, don't need it, no point. The pizza though, gotta have the pizza!!!!!!
NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!
Well, everybody I have talked to and all that I have read says that this Chantix crap gives you screwed up dreams. I have not had any out of the ordinary that I can remember anyways. I'm still smoking, the lady is too. We are not smoking as much though, so that is a plus. I'm smoking more than her though.
The TV repair man is coming out this afternoon to fix our TV. The dam thing is less than 4 years old. It's a Mitsubishi 65" DLP. About a month ago, I noticed a little white square on the screen. Didn't think nothing of it. The next day there were 3. Took a closer look and they looked like dead pixels. How could this TV have dead pixels in the screen? It's a projection TV. I did a little research on the web and found out when they made these TV they used bad HD chips from Toshiba. There are thousands of people out there having the same problems with their TV's. Well, I read through their horror stories dealing with Mitsu and put off calling them not wanting to fight on the phone.
Well, last week was the last straw, there are now 28 little squares on the screen and they were getting annoying. I called Mitsu and they were aware of the problem and offered to pay for the replacement HD chip, around 800-900 bucks! All I had to pay for was the labor which is 200 I think. Scheduled that and they said they would send someone local out to fix the TV when they get the part. Got the call this morning. The guy is going to be here today. Cool.
Other than that, things have been kinda normal around here. I pray everyday that these chemo drugs are still working. I know they are, I can feel it. Boy, am I looking forward to my pizza binge when I beat this!!!! Screw beer, don't need it, no point. The pizza though, gotta have the pizza!!!!!!
NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, October 10
Had Chemo
My blood counts were up, so I had Chemo yesterday. I didn't get a chance to talk with the doc, he did not come back to the chemo area at all, he must have been kinda busy. That's ok, I'll catch him next week.
I feel fine, slept almost all day yesterday and all night last night.
I'm still smoking. In the mornings when I wake up, or whenever I wake up rather, I still like to have a couple cigs when I'm drinking my coffee. Throughout the day I have noticed that smoking isn't a priority. Usually I go out and have one due to boredom. That has got to stop.
The lady is continuing to get on my nerves. Now that I work at home, I am here constantly, and it's getting to me. I need a break from her and these dam kids. It's not that they are a bunch of trouble, they are not.I just don't like them being here. I don't have to do anything with them. The lady takes care of them, entertains them...etc. I just go into the basement or something. So, I really don't have a ligit bitch, I just don't like them here. I hate kids. But, like I said in the past. I may dislike kids, but, I will not, I repeat will not, let them get hurt or anything. That bitch mom of theirs is a real crappy parent and I will not let her do anything to hurt them.
I'm an adult, I can deal with the kids, I'm just bitching here to get it off my chest. Can't bitch at the lady, she don't deserve it. She works her ass off taking care of them, me and the house. She deserves a medal. Period.
I think when I beat this (hopefully) I'll take her on a cruise. We have never been on one, I think it will be kinda boring, but it's not going to be for me. She likes Alaska, maybe I'll take her on one of those. She really does deserve it. I wish there is something I could do for her now that would show my appreciation, think I'll ask her later today. I wonder what she will say. Probably will want a little more help around the house, that's no bother for me. I do whatever she asks now, just not all the time when she asks it. If it's kinda of a time consuming thing, I wait a day or two. That's understandable I think.
I have been spending alot of time down here in the basement lately. It's not all the kids.....the lady has been watching The Waltons and Little House On The Prairie constantly. Fucking Hallmark channel shows 3-4 shows of each, each fucking day! My lady DVR's them and watches them all. I can't stand those fucking shows. My parents watched that shit back in the early 80's when they were new and I couldn't stand them then. I let her watch what she wants, it's the only thing that she can do really besides housework. She has not played her WOW game in ages. I think it is because she don't want the 8yr old hovering over her. I don't blame her at all. When he comes down here for an errand and I'm on the PC, he is curious as to what I'm doing, I have to tell him to go upstairs. It's not his fault. He's a kid and he's probably bored as well.
The lady went and visited the jailbird the other day, I told her not to go, but apparently it was his birthday.....sweet, the fuck had to spend his birthday in the clink......that's good for him. He deserves it. I hope he rots in there actually. He called her last night wanting something, I don't know what. I am sure glad I got collect calls blocked on our phones when the last worthless son was in the clink. He can't call her collect. He used his own dime this time.......he should the worthless good for nothing fuck.
The 8yr old mentioned the other day he wanted to be an artist when he grows up......LOL, I asked him, like your dad? He said no......I then told him, well if you want to be an artist, you better get used to not eating and mooching off of anybody that you can, just like your old man. Become a bum. Your dad wants to be an artist and look where that got him. Never had a house or anything. I told him your dad or mom for that matter don't have anything. Is that what you want to be when you grow up? He said no. I then explained to him that someday he is going to be a man. A man takes care of his family, if he don't do anything but sit on his ass all day and lets his wife work a low paying job.......sooner or later things are going to fall apart. Like what is happening to your mom and dad now. The man gets an education so that when he gets out of school he can get a good job to take care of himself and his family if he wants one. Simple as that.
Don't know if it sunk in, his parents have this kids head so fucked up, he has already got abandonment issues. He's like a dog with my lady. Never lets her out of his site when he's here. I don't let him cling to me, fuck that. We will see. His fucking parents should have been sterilized and prevented from having kids, the scum. But, that is what scum does..................BREEDS.
It's pathetic.
I feel fine, slept almost all day yesterday and all night last night.
I'm still smoking. In the mornings when I wake up, or whenever I wake up rather, I still like to have a couple cigs when I'm drinking my coffee. Throughout the day I have noticed that smoking isn't a priority. Usually I go out and have one due to boredom. That has got to stop.
The lady is continuing to get on my nerves. Now that I work at home, I am here constantly, and it's getting to me. I need a break from her and these dam kids. It's not that they are a bunch of trouble, they are not.I just don't like them being here. I don't have to do anything with them. The lady takes care of them, entertains them...etc. I just go into the basement or something. So, I really don't have a ligit bitch, I just don't like them here. I hate kids. But, like I said in the past. I may dislike kids, but, I will not, I repeat will not, let them get hurt or anything. That bitch mom of theirs is a real crappy parent and I will not let her do anything to hurt them.
I'm an adult, I can deal with the kids, I'm just bitching here to get it off my chest. Can't bitch at the lady, she don't deserve it. She works her ass off taking care of them, me and the house. She deserves a medal. Period.
I think when I beat this (hopefully) I'll take her on a cruise. We have never been on one, I think it will be kinda boring, but it's not going to be for me. She likes Alaska, maybe I'll take her on one of those. She really does deserve it. I wish there is something I could do for her now that would show my appreciation, think I'll ask her later today. I wonder what she will say. Probably will want a little more help around the house, that's no bother for me. I do whatever she asks now, just not all the time when she asks it. If it's kinda of a time consuming thing, I wait a day or two. That's understandable I think.
I have been spending alot of time down here in the basement lately. It's not all the kids.....the lady has been watching The Waltons and Little House On The Prairie constantly. Fucking Hallmark channel shows 3-4 shows of each, each fucking day! My lady DVR's them and watches them all. I can't stand those fucking shows. My parents watched that shit back in the early 80's when they were new and I couldn't stand them then. I let her watch what she wants, it's the only thing that she can do really besides housework. She has not played her WOW game in ages. I think it is because she don't want the 8yr old hovering over her. I don't blame her at all. When he comes down here for an errand and I'm on the PC, he is curious as to what I'm doing, I have to tell him to go upstairs. It's not his fault. He's a kid and he's probably bored as well.
The lady went and visited the jailbird the other day, I told her not to go, but apparently it was his birthday.....sweet, the fuck had to spend his birthday in the clink......that's good for him. He deserves it. I hope he rots in there actually. He called her last night wanting something, I don't know what. I am sure glad I got collect calls blocked on our phones when the last worthless son was in the clink. He can't call her collect. He used his own dime this time.......he should the worthless good for nothing fuck.
The 8yr old mentioned the other day he wanted to be an artist when he grows up......LOL, I asked him, like your dad? He said no......I then told him, well if you want to be an artist, you better get used to not eating and mooching off of anybody that you can, just like your old man. Become a bum. Your dad wants to be an artist and look where that got him. Never had a house or anything. I told him your dad or mom for that matter don't have anything. Is that what you want to be when you grow up? He said no. I then explained to him that someday he is going to be a man. A man takes care of his family, if he don't do anything but sit on his ass all day and lets his wife work a low paying job.......sooner or later things are going to fall apart. Like what is happening to your mom and dad now. The man gets an education so that when he gets out of school he can get a good job to take care of himself and his family if he wants one. Simple as that.
Don't know if it sunk in, his parents have this kids head so fucked up, he has already got abandonment issues. He's like a dog with my lady. Never lets her out of his site when he's here. I don't let him cling to me, fuck that. We will see. His fucking parents should have been sterilized and prevented from having kids, the scum. But, that is what scum does..................BREEDS.
It's pathetic.
Tuesday, October 9
Doing Good
I'm still here. Feeling pretty good, just woke up having my coffee.
I go to Chemo later today. Ain't been doing much of anything lately. Just working.
I have been wasting my time on an old game I used to play a long time ago. It's called Star Control 2, it was on the 3DO game system. I have been looking to pick up a 3DO that works, but, man the people that have them want too much, at least 100 bucks. I don't want to spend that much.
Well, it looks as if some dudes that are big fans of the game ported it over to the PC and offered the download up for free. It looks like they have been working on this port for a very long time, few years. I dloaded it a couple nights ago. I must say, those dudes did an excellent job!! The game is just how I remember it, exactly.
Nothing else going on around here, we still have those dam kids.....but, at least I know they are safe.
I'm gonna ask the doc today when he is going to give me my next scan. These drugs are still working, I can feel it. I'm going to beat this!!!!!
Later All
I go to Chemo later today. Ain't been doing much of anything lately. Just working.
I have been wasting my time on an old game I used to play a long time ago. It's called Star Control 2, it was on the 3DO game system. I have been looking to pick up a 3DO that works, but, man the people that have them want too much, at least 100 bucks. I don't want to spend that much.
Well, it looks as if some dudes that are big fans of the game ported it over to the PC and offered the download up for free. It looks like they have been working on this port for a very long time, few years. I dloaded it a couple nights ago. I must say, those dudes did an excellent job!! The game is just how I remember it, exactly.
Nothing else going on around here, we still have those dam kids.....but, at least I know they are safe.
I'm gonna ask the doc today when he is going to give me my next scan. These drugs are still working, I can feel it. I'm going to beat this!!!!!
Later All
Wednesday, October 3
No Chemo
Didn't do chemo yesterday, the doc came in and said my blood count was too low. I asked him about having a few "real" beers and he said as long as it was this one time I would be ok.
So as soon as I got home, camped out in the basement and drank 9. It went as well as I thought it would, caught a little buzz and listened to some loud music. That's it. Afterwards I realized, whats the the point? I really didn't have no more fun than I normally do, doing other things. I have come to the conclusion I'm not ever going to drink like that again. It was boring actually.
The doc did tell me that not drinking has helped me alot.......he said more than you know. So that's a plus. I go in for chemo next week. My blood should be up high enough by then.
Other than that, things are going the same around here. Feel good, no pain..etc...LOL.
Later Guys
NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!
So as soon as I got home, camped out in the basement and drank 9. It went as well as I thought it would, caught a little buzz and listened to some loud music. That's it. Afterwards I realized, whats the the point? I really didn't have no more fun than I normally do, doing other things. I have come to the conclusion I'm not ever going to drink like that again. It was boring actually.
The doc did tell me that not drinking has helped me alot.......he said more than you know. So that's a plus. I go in for chemo next week. My blood should be up high enough by then.
Other than that, things are going the same around here. Feel good, no pain..etc...LOL.
Later Guys
NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 2
Smoking
I'm still smoking. It has not been a week yet. The way this stuff works I guess is, you smoke like you always have the first week, then, you are not supposed to want to smoke anymore after that. I will say this, it must be doing something because there have been times when I thought I wanted a smoke, and decided against it. I have also noticed that my cigs are starting to taste like shit. Wonder if that's the Chantix as well, I'm too lazy to look it up, I'll just go with the flow.
Speaking of taste. Something has developed that I do not like at all. The medicine that I am on is screwing with my taste buds. I noticed this about 1 1/2 months ago. I can no longer stand pizza!!!!!! My favorite food tastes like shit. Not just a certain pizza, all pizza. I think it may be the cheese. I can't stand the taste of it now. I did look this up, and the meds I'm on do screw with your taste buds. Why, oh why did it have to be pizza? Why couldn't have been green beans, or hot dogs (well, strike that, I love hot dogs).....but you guys know what I mean. That is just one other thing that I am going to have to look forward to when I beat this.
I am going up north, the best place to get really good pizza and go crazy. Simple as that. A pizza binge, it will be epic!
I got chemo tomorrow, things have been going good. I feel fine and have had no problems. I am curious to see what my blood count is. I hope it's up there and I will be able to take treatment.
The lady is going to see the jailbird tomorrow. I told her not to go after the shit he pulled last time. Let me explain. He basically blamed her for his crappy life. Do you believe that shit? He said she didn't bring him up good enough and that is why he is where he is, he was abused. Man, what a load of crap. Now, I was not there at the time of his childhood, but, just by the way my lady acts towards children and the way she has been jumping through hoops for each of her worthless sons since I have been with her, tells me he is full of shit. I have seen pictures of the holidays back then, the Christmas tree and crap like that. It all looks very normal, presents piled high under the tree, stuff like that. The fucking bum has never once given his child a good Christmas, the kid says so and I believe him.
I can't stand that worthless piece of shit, and if he ever shows up on my front doorstep, I'm dragging him off of my fucking property by his fucked up head. I was thinking of going with the lady tomorrow to tell him that, but, I can not. I'll be at chemo.
NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!
Speaking of taste. Something has developed that I do not like at all. The medicine that I am on is screwing with my taste buds. I noticed this about 1 1/2 months ago. I can no longer stand pizza!!!!!! My favorite food tastes like shit. Not just a certain pizza, all pizza. I think it may be the cheese. I can't stand the taste of it now. I did look this up, and the meds I'm on do screw with your taste buds. Why, oh why did it have to be pizza? Why couldn't have been green beans, or hot dogs (well, strike that, I love hot dogs).....but you guys know what I mean. That is just one other thing that I am going to have to look forward to when I beat this.
I am going up north, the best place to get really good pizza and go crazy. Simple as that. A pizza binge, it will be epic!
I got chemo tomorrow, things have been going good. I feel fine and have had no problems. I am curious to see what my blood count is. I hope it's up there and I will be able to take treatment.
The lady is going to see the jailbird tomorrow. I told her not to go after the shit he pulled last time. Let me explain. He basically blamed her for his crappy life. Do you believe that shit? He said she didn't bring him up good enough and that is why he is where he is, he was abused. Man, what a load of crap. Now, I was not there at the time of his childhood, but, just by the way my lady acts towards children and the way she has been jumping through hoops for each of her worthless sons since I have been with her, tells me he is full of shit. I have seen pictures of the holidays back then, the Christmas tree and crap like that. It all looks very normal, presents piled high under the tree, stuff like that. The fucking bum has never once given his child a good Christmas, the kid says so and I believe him.
I can't stand that worthless piece of shit, and if he ever shows up on my front doorstep, I'm dragging him off of my fucking property by his fucked up head. I was thinking of going with the lady tomorrow to tell him that, but, I can not. I'll be at chemo.
NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!
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