Smoking

I'm still smoking. It has not been a week yet. The way this stuff works I guess is, you smoke like you always have the first week, then, you are not supposed to want to smoke anymore after that. I will say this, it must be doing something because there have been times when I thought I wanted a smoke, and decided against it. I have also noticed that my cigs are starting to taste like shit. Wonder if that's the Chantix as well, I'm too lazy to look it up, I'll just go with the flow.

Speaking of taste. Something has developed that I do not like at all. The medicine that I am on is screwing with my taste buds. I noticed this about 1 1/2 months ago. I can no longer stand pizza!!!!!! My favorite food tastes like shit. Not just a certain pizza, all pizza. I think it may be the cheese. I can't stand the taste of it now. I did look this up, and the meds I'm on do screw with your taste buds. Why, oh why did it have to be pizza? Why couldn't have been green beans, or hot dogs (well, strike that, I love hot dogs).....but you guys know what I mean. That is just one other thing that I am going to have to look forward to when I beat this.

I am going up north, the best place to get really good pizza and go crazy. Simple as that. A pizza binge, it will be epic!

I got chemo tomorrow, things have been going good. I feel fine and have had no problems. I am curious to see what my blood count is. I hope it's up there and I will be able to take treatment.

The lady is going to see the jailbird tomorrow. I told her not to go after the shit he pulled last time. Let me explain. He basically blamed her for his crappy life. Do you believe that shit? He said she didn't bring him up good enough and that is why he is where he is, he was abused. Man, what a load of crap. Now, I was not there at the time of his childhood, but, just by the way my lady acts towards children and the way she has been jumping through hoops for each of her worthless sons since I have been with her, tells me he is full of shit. I have seen pictures of the holidays back then, the Christmas tree and crap like that. It all looks very normal, presents piled high under the tree, stuff like that. The fucking bum has never once given his child a good Christmas, the kid says so and I believe him.

I can't stand that worthless piece of shit, and if he ever shows up on my front doorstep, I'm dragging him off of my fucking property by his fucked up head. I was thinking of going with the lady tomorrow to tell him that, but, I can not. I'll be at chemo.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!   NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!