Went to the doctor this morning, I was under the impression that they were going to be putting a port into my chest for the Chemo, but today was just a consult. I am having that done tomorrow. Feel pretty good today, little tired. I think it is because at night I have taken a shot of Nyquil to get to sleep. The 2 days I have done that, I have been really dragging my heels. I am not going to do that any longer. Other wise I feel good.
Kathy is making Tacos for dinner tonight, I love those.
God Bless
Thursday, June 7
Wednesday, June 6
Round 2 Toast
Well, had my second round of Chemo yesterday. The doctor said my blood counts looked real good. Chemo affects your blood count, It lowers it. My doctor stated that he will not treat Chemo patients if their blood count is below 60. Mine was at 114 which is a good sign. He said that maybe my count may be a little low next week and I will not be able to get treated. I am hoping that is not the case. I asked him if there was anything that I could do, eat to help raise my counts and he stated that there is nothing that can be done. It's all in how my bones work. Well, I have very, very strong bones. I have been a daily milk drinker for all of my life and constantly take TUMS for heartburn. Chubby guys do that I guess.
The Chemo went good. Just a little burning sensation when they pumped the pre-meds and Gemzar in. No discomfort at all. I did get a little tired during the treatment and took a nap. I was pretty tired through out the day after this one. I think it was because I did not get a full nights sleep prior, I'm not sure. I feel really good this morning. I am taking 2 Chemo drugs to battle my cancer. 1 in an IV at the hospital and 1 in pill form, I received that through the mail a couple days ago.
Kathy and I had a little spat at the doctors office, to tell you the truth, I can not remember about what. Something stupid probably. We have both been going through alot of crap lately, It was bound to come to a head sooner of later. I can not say enough about her. She is my godsend. Period. I love her dearly and I always will.
We have the grand kid staying with us for the summer, which I really enjoy. He is another reason I am going to fight this and beat it. The poor little guy has no family life at home, his parents are both idiots and treat him as if they do not want him around. He does not have a father figure what-so-ever so, I am stepping in for that dept. I have mentioned in the past I was thinking of doing that. I have decided.
Kathy keeps mentioning going for custody of him, I have kinda been thinking about that myself. I think that is what his real mother wants. She has already gave up one son to her mother, but, get this. She gets the child support, not her mother ain't that crap?
I am thinking if we were to go for custody, I will go after her for child support, insurance, and give the kid my last name, period. Life is too short and this child has a crap life. If I can just do a few little things to make his life 100% better so be it.
I am not too sure about this, I have not mentioned this to Kathy. I am still on the wall. I do know this. That kid is going to have a great summer!!!
I will talk to you folks later. God Bless
The Chemo went good. Just a little burning sensation when they pumped the pre-meds and Gemzar in. No discomfort at all. I did get a little tired during the treatment and took a nap. I was pretty tired through out the day after this one. I think it was because I did not get a full nights sleep prior, I'm not sure. I feel really good this morning. I am taking 2 Chemo drugs to battle my cancer. 1 in an IV at the hospital and 1 in pill form, I received that through the mail a couple days ago.
Kathy and I had a little spat at the doctors office, to tell you the truth, I can not remember about what. Something stupid probably. We have both been going through alot of crap lately, It was bound to come to a head sooner of later. I can not say enough about her. She is my godsend. Period. I love her dearly and I always will.
We have the grand kid staying with us for the summer, which I really enjoy. He is another reason I am going to fight this and beat it. The poor little guy has no family life at home, his parents are both idiots and treat him as if they do not want him around. He does not have a father figure what-so-ever so, I am stepping in for that dept. I have mentioned in the past I was thinking of doing that. I have decided.
Kathy keeps mentioning going for custody of him, I have kinda been thinking about that myself. I think that is what his real mother wants. She has already gave up one son to her mother, but, get this. She gets the child support, not her mother ain't that crap?
I am thinking if we were to go for custody, I will go after her for child support, insurance, and give the kid my last name, period. Life is too short and this child has a crap life. If I can just do a few little things to make his life 100% better so be it.
I am not too sure about this, I have not mentioned this to Kathy. I am still on the wall. I do know this. That kid is going to have a great summer!!!
I will talk to you folks later. God Bless
Monday, June 4
Life
I have cancer. I had no idea or ever thought I would get anything like this, especially at my age. I received my biopsy results May 29th. It is stage 4 pancreas cancer. My family and friends know and they are fully supporting me. My wife is the greatest. She has been through a couple fights like this with her relatives in the past, but this is a bad one I'm sorry to say.
I have recently changed my outlook on life. In the past I was the typical young, conceded, hated people, nothing is going to happen to me type. Not anymore. This disease has me looking my own mortality in the face. I am staring back with determination and strength. I have recently accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into my heart and pray for his strength on a daily basis and am thankful that he has provided me with such good friends and family members to rely on for support. I am especially thankful for my wife Kathy. I do not think that I could go through this without her, and continue to fight for her sake. To tell you all the truth, If she were not here, I would have probably done something drastic upon hearing the news. ( I had already picked out the tree)
I am hopeful and full of anticipation on fighting this disease. I am going to fight it and beat this. My doctor seems to know what he is doing and does not "sugar coat" anything. He tells me up front what to expect and how things are. I have had my first round of chemo with no side effects yet. I don't care about my hair, I keep it real short anyways. I am trying to keep my gut. Been eating like a pig actually. I do not want to start losing weight. I do not drink anymore, have not had a beer in 2 weeks, been craving one though. I go in for my next round of chemo tomorrow, perhaps I may ask my doctor about non-alcoholic beer. I need a little normalcy in my life right now. I am currently talking anti-anxiety pills to help me cope.
I have not been to work since my diagnosis, I have a fairly long commute on deserted country roads, my wife is concerned that I will fall asleep behind the wheel. My work is behind me 100% and are working with me.
For those of you who read this blog, Pancreas Cancer is a killer. I'm fighting it tooth and nail. 1 word of advice. Get checked. An ultra sound could save your life. The reason this cancer is so bad is because it shows no symptoms, pain, anything till it is in it's advanced stages. A person could have a tumor for several years before pain, symptoms, anything shows up. Get an ultra sound yearly. This cancer if caught in it's early stages can be cut out, killed.
I thank the lord up above for the sign he sent me to get my backside to the doctor. I had a blood clot in my lung, that is what was causing my pain. They did a chest x-ray, found something behind my breast bone and sent me for a CT scan. (the CT scan showed my chest clear BTW) That CT scan revealed the cancer in my pancreas. If I had never had that scan, I would still be clueless as to what was inside me today. The lord sent me that sign and for that I am very thankful. This cancer just came on me. Although I did drink and do smoke, these actions did not cause it, my doctor has stated this to me. This cancer just happens out of the blue like a thunderbolt. Some believe it my be in genes, but I have no history of this cancer in my immediate family dating back for 4 generations. The most important thing I can say here is this, GET CHECKED! Ultra sounds are easy and believe me the money you spend on one is well worth it. Get checked yearly. Thank you for you support. God Bless You All.
I have recently changed my outlook on life. In the past I was the typical young, conceded, hated people, nothing is going to happen to me type. Not anymore. This disease has me looking my own mortality in the face. I am staring back with determination and strength. I have recently accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into my heart and pray for his strength on a daily basis and am thankful that he has provided me with such good friends and family members to rely on for support. I am especially thankful for my wife Kathy. I do not think that I could go through this without her, and continue to fight for her sake. To tell you all the truth, If she were not here, I would have probably done something drastic upon hearing the news. ( I had already picked out the tree)
I am hopeful and full of anticipation on fighting this disease. I am going to fight it and beat this. My doctor seems to know what he is doing and does not "sugar coat" anything. He tells me up front what to expect and how things are. I have had my first round of chemo with no side effects yet. I don't care about my hair, I keep it real short anyways. I am trying to keep my gut. Been eating like a pig actually. I do not want to start losing weight. I do not drink anymore, have not had a beer in 2 weeks, been craving one though. I go in for my next round of chemo tomorrow, perhaps I may ask my doctor about non-alcoholic beer. I need a little normalcy in my life right now. I am currently talking anti-anxiety pills to help me cope.
I have not been to work since my diagnosis, I have a fairly long commute on deserted country roads, my wife is concerned that I will fall asleep behind the wheel. My work is behind me 100% and are working with me.
For those of you who read this blog, Pancreas Cancer is a killer. I'm fighting it tooth and nail. 1 word of advice. Get checked. An ultra sound could save your life. The reason this cancer is so bad is because it shows no symptoms, pain, anything till it is in it's advanced stages. A person could have a tumor for several years before pain, symptoms, anything shows up. Get an ultra sound yearly. This cancer if caught in it's early stages can be cut out, killed.
I thank the lord up above for the sign he sent me to get my backside to the doctor. I had a blood clot in my lung, that is what was causing my pain. They did a chest x-ray, found something behind my breast bone and sent me for a CT scan. (the CT scan showed my chest clear BTW) That CT scan revealed the cancer in my pancreas. If I had never had that scan, I would still be clueless as to what was inside me today. The lord sent me that sign and for that I am very thankful. This cancer just came on me. Although I did drink and do smoke, these actions did not cause it, my doctor has stated this to me. This cancer just happens out of the blue like a thunderbolt. Some believe it my be in genes, but I have no history of this cancer in my immediate family dating back for 4 generations. The most important thing I can say here is this, GET CHECKED! Ultra sounds are easy and believe me the money you spend on one is well worth it. Get checked yearly. Thank you for you support. God Bless You All.
Sunday, June 3
2012 Topps Archives
Well, the grand kid and I ripped our first of many 2012 Topps Archives last night. Had a blast. This is a new product for this year from Topps, and I must say I really like it. This are todays players on retro Topps designs from the 70's-80's with a bunch of special chase cards thrown in. I especially like the 69 Deckle Edge cards that they have included. We are going to try and build this set, it is going to be difficult. The cards these days are expensive. But, we had a great time. I'll try to get som pics up
Thursday, May 31
Changes
Well this has been a very hard couple weeks for me and my wife. Not that we are fighting, as a matter of fact we have never been closer. I received some very bad health news May 29th. I am not going to go into details here, I am just going to say that I am questioning my own mortality. It's bad, but I, my wife, and doctors are optimistic. I'm young and strong and have no other conditions that would affect my treatment that is going for me.
The basement is going to change. I am not a drinker anymore. I have not had or wanted a beer in over a week and a half. I am still going to use it to collect and display my vinyl, video games and baseball cards though.
I have some rough times ahead, I am going to fight and get through this. I am not sure how many people read this, but, wish me luck.
The basement is going to change. I am not a drinker anymore. I have not had or wanted a beer in over a week and a half. I am still going to use it to collect and display my vinyl, video games and baseball cards though.
I have some rough times ahead, I am going to fight and get through this. I am not sure how many people read this, but, wish me luck.
Friday, May 11
Hints
Ok, we had the fight. It all came out. I informed my lady a few days later that I have changed my mind. At first I offered to let the scum stay here for 1 month. That's it. No longer. I figured no person in their right mind would pick up, move across country with a family with nothing to fall back on in case things turn out bad ( can't get a job, car breaks, kid gets sick). A 1 month stay is not very long. Well, I was wrong. It appears that the scum did not want to stay up there at all and were seriously considering making the move fully knowing they were only welcome to stay for 1 month, regardless of finding a job or not.
I told my lady they are not staying here at all. I changed my mind, knowing that if he were not to find a job, the 1 month stay would end up being longer. Screw that. I am not hampering my life at all concerning these people.
It has been a few days since I advised my lady of that. She has been dropping hints......."oh I wish they were here, they could help me with this, that, etc......" crap like that. Then she says " I know you don't want them here" I then told her for the millionth time, I don't care where they move, it is nothing personal. I'm not supporting them. Period.
I know this is going to come up again. I really don't want to get angry with my wife about this, I can understand her way of thinking. She loves her grand children, and wants to see them. It is not her fault that both her sons or worthless. The one up north is the youngest, he is the one constantly asking his mom for assistance. This dude needs to grow the fuck up. Looks like now he is going to have too. Next time my lady brings the subject up, I am going to have to tell her that regardless of how many times this is mentioned, I am not changing my mind. Period.
On a high note. I built the stand for my record albums. I decided to store them like record stores do, in crates so you are able to flip through them. Storing them like that does take up more space than a couple wall shelves, but, finding a specific record will be easier like that. I have made this stand/table large enough to store 8 crates that hold about 100 records a piece. Now, moving my records around to make space I noticed I do have alot of crap records, religious, classical, etc....and artists I really have no interest in, Dean Martin ( God, he made alot of fucking records) Tennessee Ernie Ford, Slim Whitman, crap like that. When I would buy records, I would buy in bulk. If I noticed a few in there I wanted, I would offer for the whole lot. Well, my crates will hold about 800 records, I know I have no where near that many that I want to keep, so I will have the room to expand. The table is not complete yet, I still need to get a top and place shelves on the underside for my baseball cards, but when it's done, It will be sweet.
I told my lady they are not staying here at all. I changed my mind, knowing that if he were not to find a job, the 1 month stay would end up being longer. Screw that. I am not hampering my life at all concerning these people.
It has been a few days since I advised my lady of that. She has been dropping hints......."oh I wish they were here, they could help me with this, that, etc......" crap like that. Then she says " I know you don't want them here" I then told her for the millionth time, I don't care where they move, it is nothing personal. I'm not supporting them. Period.
I know this is going to come up again. I really don't want to get angry with my wife about this, I can understand her way of thinking. She loves her grand children, and wants to see them. It is not her fault that both her sons or worthless. The one up north is the youngest, he is the one constantly asking his mom for assistance. This dude needs to grow the fuck up. Looks like now he is going to have too. Next time my lady brings the subject up, I am going to have to tell her that regardless of how many times this is mentioned, I am not changing my mind. Period.
On a high note. I built the stand for my record albums. I decided to store them like record stores do, in crates so you are able to flip through them. Storing them like that does take up more space than a couple wall shelves, but, finding a specific record will be easier like that. I have made this stand/table large enough to store 8 crates that hold about 100 records a piece. Now, moving my records around to make space I noticed I do have alot of crap records, religious, classical, etc....and artists I really have no interest in, Dean Martin ( God, he made alot of fucking records) Tennessee Ernie Ford, Slim Whitman, crap like that. When I would buy records, I would buy in bulk. If I noticed a few in there I wanted, I would offer for the whole lot. Well, my crates will hold about 800 records, I know I have no where near that many that I want to keep, so I will have the room to expand. The table is not complete yet, I still need to get a top and place shelves on the underside for my baseball cards, but when it's done, It will be sweet.
Friday, May 4
The Aftermath
Well, regarding my prior post. My wife's scum fuck son is not moving here. That came to a head one afternoon earlier this week.
My wife woke me up with a question. Why can't her son move his family here? I then explained to her at least for the tenth time, I could care less where he moves, he can move here if he wants. I will not support him, or his family. I told her that I have my own to take care of, her and the dog. He is an adult, he makes his own choices.
She flew off the handle. She yelled at me that them crashing here is not support. I had to bring her back to reality. I asked her then, what is it? Are they going to make the house payments, pay the electric, pay the cable, put gas in the fucking car? She said, no, they don't have any money, I said exactly. I will be supporting them. She went apeshit.
Well, to make a long story short, we had a very big fight, biggest one we have ever had. At one point, I thought the police would get involved, but they were not called. Things are ok now, kinda. I had to sit my wife down and explain to her that I loved her and cared for her, but I will not support an adult that has made bad choices and relies on others for assistance. I advised her that if she can not accept that, she could get her own place and move them in with her. We would break up. Period.
My wife is not stupid. She knows that I have given her the best life that she has ever had. She is not going to give that up for anything. Don't get me wrong. I love my wife. I did not, have not, or ever will threaten to kick her out or anything like that. I am not holding that over her head. I provide a great life for her, and myself, because I want too. It is time for her to finally accept the fact that she did her job with her kids, it's over. They are adults now, they can no longer rely on her for support. She has her own life and it does not center on them.
I have had to tell my wife this on several occasions. I'm getting real tired of dealing with this BS. In the middle of the fight, I called my boss thinking that I would be going to jail and to ask him for help if I were too, and that I would not be going to work that night. Needless to say, he was not very happy. I have not been back to work since this happened. I am probably going to be written up for my absence, which is understandable.
This shit is affecting my work now. I'm tired of it. I told my girl this and that I am on the fence so to speak as far as our lives together goes. I still think that breaking this off would be better. Things are only getting worse.
My wife woke me up with a question. Why can't her son move his family here? I then explained to her at least for the tenth time, I could care less where he moves, he can move here if he wants. I will not support him, or his family. I told her that I have my own to take care of, her and the dog. He is an adult, he makes his own choices.
She flew off the handle. She yelled at me that them crashing here is not support. I had to bring her back to reality. I asked her then, what is it? Are they going to make the house payments, pay the electric, pay the cable, put gas in the fucking car? She said, no, they don't have any money, I said exactly. I will be supporting them. She went apeshit.
Well, to make a long story short, we had a very big fight, biggest one we have ever had. At one point, I thought the police would get involved, but they were not called. Things are ok now, kinda. I had to sit my wife down and explain to her that I loved her and cared for her, but I will not support an adult that has made bad choices and relies on others for assistance. I advised her that if she can not accept that, she could get her own place and move them in with her. We would break up. Period.
My wife is not stupid. She knows that I have given her the best life that she has ever had. She is not going to give that up for anything. Don't get me wrong. I love my wife. I did not, have not, or ever will threaten to kick her out or anything like that. I am not holding that over her head. I provide a great life for her, and myself, because I want too. It is time for her to finally accept the fact that she did her job with her kids, it's over. They are adults now, they can no longer rely on her for support. She has her own life and it does not center on them.
I have had to tell my wife this on several occasions. I'm getting real tired of dealing with this BS. In the middle of the fight, I called my boss thinking that I would be going to jail and to ask him for help if I were too, and that I would not be going to work that night. Needless to say, he was not very happy. I have not been back to work since this happened. I am probably going to be written up for my absence, which is understandable.
This shit is affecting my work now. I'm tired of it. I told my girl this and that I am on the fence so to speak as far as our lives together goes. I still think that breaking this off would be better. Things are only getting worse.
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