Did my 4th round yesterday. The nurse came in with my blood count results and said that they were off the table!!!! Somewhere over 200!! She said that, that was unheard of, so it looks as if I got some very good bones.
The doctor mentioned it too and said I looked better and calmer. I think I have come to accept this a little bit more. Why this happened to me I will never know. Maybe the lord up above sent me this disease in order to show me that I needed to turn my life around, I was a very hating, non caring person. Especially to strangers and my fellow man. If I did not know you, or you did me wrong, I would end up dispising you for the rest of my life. Forgiveness was never part of my vocabulary.
I was also very fond of watching chicks, all chicks. Lusting after them you might say. I did not give my lady the respect she deserved and constantly looked a women in her presence, to make a long story short I was a real asshole to my lady and almost everybody else.
That's I why I think God sent me this message. I have since did a complete 180. My lady is happier I can see it in her face, I am happier and alot calmer as well. I don't hate any longer and since forgiven all those that have ever done me wrong. I have come to realize life sucked when I hated so much.
I would like to thank the Lord for showing me the errors of my ways, if that's what he did.
I do feel better, very very much better, better than I have felt ever actually I do not know if it is the anxiety medicine I am on, the no drinking, eating a little healthier or just fighting this disease and the chemo drugs working. I have no idea, but I will say this, I'm happier now.
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