New Yars Eve

It's New Years Eve. I'm working. I feel really good today. I got a lot of sleep yesterday. Went to bed last night at around 11 and woke up today at 4 in the afternoon.....lol. These dam chemo drugs knock the shit outta me.

Well, I have come to a cross roads. I have been collecting video games now for about 9 months. I have gotten quite a  lot of different systems and games for each. I have yet to play any of them. I have not played any of them at all I noticed a couple days ago. They are just sitting there on a shelf. However, I have been listening to my records constantly for the same time. I'm putting the video games away. I have been stacking boxes with my records in them going through them looking for ones I want to play........putting my records back on the shelves and am going to actively start building my record collection again. I never really stopped collecting records anyway, just did not really pursue it on a daily basis.

I got a really good deal on 5 Chubby Checker 45's from the bay. I was surprised I won the auction. They came in the mail today and I am very pleased. A couple of the records are in mint/mint shape. They look like they have never been played and 4 of them came with the picture sleeve for the records!!! It goes to show, you can still get a good deal on Ebay if your patient.

Like I said, I am feeling really good today. So, the first day of the new year I am going to be feeling really good. I hope that is a view of things to come in the next year.

It has been 7 months since my diagnosis. I feel the same. I am getting some side effects from the chemo, but, other than that I feel the same. I have not lost any weight, my doc says that's a real good sign. I am fighting this, I try to stay optimistic and look forward to things. Working from home sucks, I can not wait for the day to come when I can go into work. That may happen soon, I'm not sure. I am soooooo glad that I am not a slave to those fucking smokes any more. I feel 1000 times better since I have quit. Not to mention I am not spending close to 200 bucks a month on them either. I'm spending that cash on records.....LOL.

I'd like to thank you all for reading about my mundane life. Not sure how many readers I have, I don't know how to check that crap.....LOL. But, thank you none the less. I am hopeful the coming year brings with it good times and perhaps a cancer free diagnosis for me. I am hopeful. I am going to fight this till my last breath!!!  Take Care all and may God Bless you guys.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!

Feeling Good

Christmas morning went off without a hitch. The kid got some pretty good loot this year. I had a good time watching the kid open his presents. It was fun. After he opened his presents, I went to bed, I was up all night working.

The lady woke me up at around 6 for Christmas dinner. I was looking forward to that. It was great except for my favorite part. The ham tasted like crap to me. These dam Chemo drugs screw with my taste buds and certain foods leave a really horrible after taste in my mouth. The ham did. I was pissed. Everything else tasted great. I was scared that was going to happen. Well, it has been a few days since, I have tried some ham again with the same results. There is a lot of ham leftover. The lady has already made a big pan of scalloped potatoes and ham. I love that. Tried some tonight, BONUS!!! It tasted good to me! No after taste. Great!!! She is going to use the rest of the leftovers to make me some homemade navy bean soup. I love that stuff too. I am hopeful that it will not taste like crap to me.

Don't have anything planned for New Years Eve. I'll probably work. We have not ever done anything that night. Too dam crowded and I hate people to begin with. We stay home. Ain't gonna be drinking this year. I have been sober now for 7 months and have not had a smoke in 2 months. I am breathing a lot better now. I like being a non smoker. I went over to a friends house a few days ago, he smokes. It has been the first time I have been close to somebody actually smoking for an extended period. I had no trouble at all. I did smell it a little bit, but as far as wanting to smoke or anything, nothing. No feelings what so ever. Cool. So, I think it is pretty safe to say I have finally kicked that fucking habit for good!!!! I am not ever going to touch a cigarette ever again!!!!!!

Got a docs appointment today. Not doing Chemo today, just going in for blood work. I'm also taking that lady to the ER. She has had a chest cold or something for a couple weeks now. She has been coughing up green stuff and crap. I hope it's not bad. She's going in and we will see.

Other than that I feel really good today. I am hoping that my lady does not require an overnight hospital stay, but, if the doc recommends it, so be it.

Later All

Christmas Eve

Well, it's Christmas Eve. I'm working. I decided to work tonight because the kid is gonna get us up early anyways. I already caught him peaking his nose out of his room.....hehehe. I'm feeling really good. The only thing really bothering me is my tongue. I bit it a few days ago way in the back real hard and have not been able to enjoy a meal since. It hurts like a mutha! I wish this dam thing would heal. Other than that I feel peachy.

Boy, I'll tell ya. That fucking kids mom really takes the cake. The bitch wanted the kids all night tonight,the lady of course said no way. She was not going to let that bitch ruin their Christmas. The lady said, lol. She came and got them at about 4 PM this afternoon. The lady told her to bring them back at 8. No problem.

Well she showed up 30 minutes late.....that don't surprise me. I asked the kid what she got him for Christmas. What he told me almost floored me. This kid says, his mother.......told him that he would get his presents after Christmas and then gave him a shirt. Unwrapped even. A shirt that she didn't even purchase. It was from his other grand mother. Do You Believe That Shit?  I didn't, I told the kid that he had 1 chance to come clean. He better be telling the truth and if I were to find out he is not telling the truth, I would take all of his presents back. Well, he said he was telling the truth. I don't believe it. How a mother could be so fucking self centered to ignore her kids on fucking Christmas. It's an outrage.

Well, needless to say, there are plenty of presents under that tree for the kids this year. They are heaped up all around it. That kid is going to have a good Christmas this year. His fucking parents should not have been able to have kids. I'm soooooo fucking pissed.

I heard that this is a growing trend these days. Young people that are fucking worthless and their parents raising their kids. I know a guy at work who is doing the same thing. His wife's daughter had a kid and him and his wife adopted her. That's fucked. These dam young people today are fucking worthless. It pisses me off that society puts up with worthless fucking people such as this. In my case the mom is going to have her day real soon and the worthless fucking father is in jail. I say send them all to fucking work camps. Make the fuckers work for their food and lodging. Jail is too good for the fuckers.

These fucking kids now days feel entitled. They think the world owes them a fucking living. They have been coddled their whole fucking life, now when they can't make it they resort to crime or live off of mommy and daddy. I say fuck that. Make them all serve in the military at least 4 years. It will make them grow the fuck up. Hell joining the military was the best thing I ever did for myself. It grew me the fuck up quick.

That's it. Rant over. I feel great and am looking forward to watching the kid open his presents. All you that read this have a safe and happy Christmas and New Year.!!!!!!

This Dam Pump

Doing good tonight. Had Chemo today, man these new drugs take a long time to take. I think I am taking 4-5 different drugs and it takes about 5-6 hours for them to give them all to me. Needless to say I gotta lug this dam pump around with me for the next 2 days. Other than that, things have been going real good.

Well, I think I have bonded with the little baby. I like having her around. She is such a little cutie, it's almost impossible NOT to like her. I am starting to care about her more and more each day. It brightens my day when I walk by her and smile at her and she smiles back and jumps up and down excited to see me. It warms my heart.

Well, one thing I have noticed. These new chemo drugs do not make me as tired as the last ones did. I am finding I have alot more energy, especially on Chemo days. I think they are giving me more steroids. I'm on the juice.

Speaking of juice, I had some orange juice this morning and it tasted horrible. I hate my taste buds being out of wack like this. I used to love the taste of orange juice. Just didn't drink it that often.

Well, I think I maybe getting a laptop soon. I seen one at Wallyworld for only 288. It's got a 320 gig HD and all the other crap I need. The only thing I really plan on using it for is surf and store all of my music. Think I may pick that up next week, not sure. I plan on putting all of my vinyl on it. That will be sweet. I also am planning on getting more 45's now that I have a way to store them. It's gonna be cool.

Ain't heard nothing from the jailbird. It looks as if he is going to be in jail for awhile. I think they offered him a deal like......if he goes to court and is found guilty, they could sentence him to 40 years. If he pleaded guilty with no court he would get 8 years out in 10 months on parole. He is getting railroaded I think. But, oh well. He deserves it I think for letting his wife take it that far. The other bum son up North has already called several times wanting money. I think he is blaming his mom for not letting him move his family down here and mooch off of us. I heard the lady tell him one night that the she does not own this house, somebody else does......HELL YEAH somebody else does! That somebody is not going to be taken advantage of by scum either. Screw that. I told my lady, nobody, NOBODY is staying here ever again. Period. I am not giving her worthless family a dime ever again and never going to do anything to help them. Been there, done that. The trough is dry.

The kids can stay live here. That way I know they are ok and will not be harmed. Also, I like having them here. That's it though. No more kids and anybody else.

Doing pretty good otherwise, oh, my dog is feeling alot better and the stench is gone. Man, It was bad there for a little while. The stench has been gone now for a few weeks and he has been feeling alot better. I take him into the vet for a follow up in a couple days. I am hoping his ear infection has cleared up.

Well that's it for now!

Doing good

I have been doing real good, been tired as hell, but that's the norm. I don't know if I mentioned this in the last post, but, I'M A NONSMOKER!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Chantix worked. I have not had a cig since November 1st. that's 28 days....woohoo!!!! I'm so glad I'm not a slave to those dam things any longer. I am breathing alot easier now, no mucus in my throat and wake up alot easier. It's great. The lady has not smoked in a month and half. We both are doing great. Thanks to Chantix. I'm still taking it, figured I would take it for another month, just in case, my lady as well.

Thanksgiving was excellent. Had one little problem though, get this crap. My lady baked the pumpkin pies Wed night, before Thanksgiving, they turned out perfect. I worked. Well, Thanksgiving day rolls around, my lady comes to wake me up at noon saying the oven ain't working. She went to preheat it for the bird and nothing, she was almost in tears. I get up, check the breakers and everything looked good. Crap, how we gonna cook the bird? I hoped Walmart was open, went to Walmart and picked up a roaster oven for it, on sale to boot....LOL. So, that's how we cooked the bird. It turned out real good. We had a great Thanksgiving this year.

I start some new Chemo drugs next week. It is going to take them 5-6 hours to give them to me, then I have to wear a pump home and it will pump the remaining drugs into me over the next 48 hours. I hope these work as well as the last drugs did.

I have been working from home and I hate it. On the days I do not work, I avoid the basement like the plague. It feels like I am working when I'm down here now. But, Oh well. I am very thankful my job is supporting me.

Took my dog to the vet today, he has a very bad ear infection. He was falling down and loosing his balance, my lady thought that he was having a stroke. Well come to find out it's a very bad ear infection that he has had for a long time. We got medicine for him, I hope it works, my poor dog. I love him very much. I hate to see him like this. Gave him a bath at the vet too, he really liked that. I could tell when we got home, he was in a lot better mood. I hope the medicine we got for him works. The vet said it will, so all we have to do is wait.

Other than that, it's been the same around here. I still pray to the lord everyday for the strength to beat this beast inside of me. Thank all of you that read this for your support and my family and friends. I could not do this alone.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!   NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!

Been Awhile

Ok, I know. It has been awhile since my last post. Alot has happened since then as well.

I got my CT scan on the 5th and the results. The results were good. No change. The cancer did not shrink, but, it did not grow either, which is good. The doc is changing my chemo drugs. I go in next on the 3rd. This time it is going to take them 5-6 hours to give me the drugs and then I have to wear a pump home for the next 48 hours for it to pump chemo drugs in. That's gonna suck. But, if it kills the cancer, oh yeah.

I have not had a cigarette since November 1st. It's been 2 weeks now. I still think about smoking, but, I think it is safe to say I'm done with it. I am breathing alot easier now, and the mucus I had in my throat is now almost gone. It feels good. I am so glad I am not a slave to those dam things any longer. I am never going to even touch one again. Period.

My taste buds have been acting up bad. It seems I can not eat anything without it tasting bad. It is strange, because, one day something will taste bad, then the next it wont. I don't know what the hell is going on. I am getting scared to eat. Been feeling kinda nauseous the past couple days, I have not hurled, but it feels like I have had too a couple times. Not sure what that is. If it keeps up, I'll let the doc know on the 3rd.

We still have the dam kids. It was kinda funny though a couple days ago. The bitch mom asked my lady what we were doing for Thanksgiving, my lady told her. Making a big turkey with all the trimmings and watching Christmas movies. That's what we do every year. My lady didn't ask the bitch what she was doing, or invite her. She is not welcome. It sounded like the bitch wanted and invite, it didn't happen. We both do not want her here ruining our Holiday. Screw her.

We picked up our turkey today. I can't wait for dinner on the 22nd. Been listening to Christmas music in the car. 2 radio stations here have started playing Holiday music 24x7. I like that. I have already heard the barking dogs, now I just gotta hear the 12 Pains Of Christmas and I will be happy. I loved hearing those barking dogs......LOL.

I'm in pretty good spirits. I wish I had the time to go up north, but I really don't right now. I probably could and work from up there for a few days, but, think I will stay put down here. I call my mother on a daily basis. I wish I lived closer to my parents. But, oh well. It could be worse I guess. I could still be in TX or FLA. I miss my family.

Dog Stench

Oh Man, my dog is stinking bad!!!!!   Took him to the vet last week and she told me he has a yeast infection. Gave me some medicine for him and we have been giving him that. It has been 4 days since his last bath and it's bad again. We gotta give him another bath tomorrow. The stench is almost unbearable. Man this sucks bad..........I never had any idea a bad smell constantly could disrupt and impact a persons life this way. I told the lady tonight, if we can not cure him, we gotta get rid of him, I can't take this smell. I know it's not his fault, but I am not going to keep him outside. I don't know what we are going to do. I'm hoping that we can get this infection under control. I do not want to get rid of my dog, but I can not live with this stench either.

On a higher note, I go in for my next CT scan on the 5th........Oh I hope it's good news. I know it's going to be. I have been feeling really good, no pain anywhere and all bodily functions normal. I have just been tired.

Another higher note.......I'm almost a non smoker. The lady has not had a cig in a week I think, and I am down to 1-2 a day. Had 1 yesterday and 1 1/2 today so far. This chantix is working. I feel that I do not need a cig, don't care really if I smoke one or not. I don't have that urge in me to go smoke one. The way I see it, probably in a few days I'll be down to zero. They say if you can go 3 days without, it's all downhill from there. The first 3 days are the hard part. Well, we will see.

I think not smoking has kicked my nose into working, I don't know. But, man the dog stinks. I wish my nose would go back to not working very good. I don't know how my lady stands it. Her nose works real good, better than average. All I can say is, this sucks!!!!!!

Late Night

Can't sleep. I really need to. I have to take the lady to the city in the morning for an appt. and then later do my chemo. I got a busy day tomorrow.

These meds are really starting to mess with my taste buds. I'm scared to eat, thinking when I do it's going to taste like total crap. This is torture to a guy that loves food as much as me.

So far it seems the only things affected are pizza, but, when eating there are some things that leave a little after taste. That is why I am scared to eat. I mean the after taste is horrible. If it's strong enough it makes me gag, and I feel like I'm going to puke. Just thinking about it now is making me feel kinda nauseous. But, if that is the price I must pay to beat this beast, so be it.

I love salads. That is the only thing so far that leaves no after taste what so ever. I have been eating alot of salads. When we go out to the buffetts, the salad bar is what I look most forward too.

I go in for chemo tomorrow. I am hoping I run into the doc, I want to ask him when my next scan will be. According to what he told me a couple weeks ago, I should be getting a scan next week. I pray that these chemo drugs are still working. I know they are. I can feel it. I still am taking tumeric daily, just not as much.

The swelling in my leg is completely gone now. Getting these blood clots is scaring me. I have to be very careful. I don't know if it's the cancer or the meds causing them. I'm thinking the cancer, because, a clot is what started all of this. I thank the lord up above for that clot.

Well Halloween is almost here. It don't feel like it. I'm kinda down. Working from home is starting to become a real pain. I hate it. Then, every time I walk upstairs I glance out at the pool and that pisses me off. That thing is more trouble than what it is worth. I'm going close that dam thing this year and probably wont even open it next year. It was only used 3 times this summer. It's got a boatload of leaves in it now, I'm going to have to clean them out before I close it.

These kids are really starting to get to me. I'm trying very hard to remain calm and easy going, but it's getting really rough. I think everyday, why are these kids here? It's not my fault their parents are idiots. Why is it falling on me to give them a stable home? They are not my kids. I know the good thing to do would be continue providing the home, and insure that they are safe. I don't want to see these kids get hurt, but they are not my responsibility either.

The lord has a plan. Maybe he sent that clot down on me, to get my ass into the doctor so I could be treated in time to beat the monster, so I would be around to make sure the kids get taken care of right, who knows. I do know that the way I was living my life before I got diagnosed was less than spectacular. I was wasting my life. I have a better outlook on life now, and cherish it. I'm not going to kick the kids or my lady out. I'll deal with it, I'm an adult. The lord wants me around for a reason. I ain't going anywhere, neither are the kids and my wife.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!

No More White Squares

The TV is fixed. That's good. Them dam squares were getting on my nerves. I asked the guy that came over and he said that he has done this about 15 times so far. That is alot considering my little town. Not too many people live here. It took him about an hour.

Only worked 5 hours last night, I felt like crap, still do. I hope these drugs are working and soon I can be cancer free.

Feeling Good

Feeling pretty good today. Just woke up a little while ago and on my 2nd cup of coffee. Had a real hard time falling asleep last night. Just wasn't tired, ended up going to bed at 2:30. I gotta work for the next 3 days, so I am going to have to try and get a nap in today sometime.

Well, everybody I have talked to and all that I have read says that this Chantix crap gives you screwed up dreams. I have not had any out of the ordinary that I can remember anyways. I'm still smoking, the lady is too. We are not smoking as much though, so that is a plus. I'm smoking more than her though.

The TV repair man is coming out this afternoon to fix our TV. The dam thing is less than 4 years old. It's a Mitsubishi 65" DLP. About a month ago, I noticed a little white square on the screen. Didn't think nothing of it. The next day there were 3. Took a closer look and they looked like dead pixels. How could this TV have dead pixels in the screen? It's a projection TV. I did a little research on the web and found out when they made these TV they used bad HD chips from Toshiba. There are thousands of people out there having the same problems with their TV's. Well, I read through their horror stories dealing with Mitsu and put off calling them not wanting to fight on the phone.

Well, last week was the last straw, there are now 28 little squares on the screen and they were getting annoying. I called Mitsu and they were aware of the problem and offered to pay for the replacement HD chip, around 800-900 bucks!  All I had to pay for was the labor which is 200 I think. Scheduled that and they said they would send someone local out to fix the TV when they get the part. Got the call this morning. The guy is going to be here today. Cool.

Other than that, things have been kinda normal around here. I pray everyday that these chemo drugs are still working. I know they are, I can feel it. Boy, am I looking forward to my pizza binge when I beat this!!!! Screw beer, don't need it, no point. The pizza though, gotta have the pizza!!!!!!

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!   NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!! 

Had Chemo

My blood counts were up, so I had Chemo yesterday. I didn't get a chance to talk with the doc, he did not come back to the chemo area at all, he must have been kinda busy. That's ok, I'll catch him next week.

I feel fine, slept almost all day yesterday and all night last night.

I'm still smoking. In the mornings when I wake up, or whenever I wake up rather, I still like to have a couple cigs when I'm drinking my coffee. Throughout the day I have noticed that smoking isn't a priority. Usually I go out and have one due to boredom. That has got to stop.

The lady is continuing to get on my nerves. Now that I work at home, I am here constantly, and it's getting to me. I need a break from her and these dam kids. It's not that they are a bunch of trouble, they are not.I just don't like them being here. I don't have to do anything with them. The lady takes care of them, entertains them...etc. I just go into the basement or something. So, I really don't have a ligit bitch, I just don't like them here. I hate kids. But, like I said in the past. I may dislike kids, but, I will not, I repeat will not, let them get hurt or anything. That bitch mom of theirs is a real crappy parent and I will not let her do anything to hurt them.

I'm an adult, I can deal with the kids, I'm just bitching here to get it off my chest. Can't bitch at the lady, she don't deserve it. She works her ass off taking care of them, me and the house. She deserves a medal. Period.

I think when I beat this (hopefully) I'll take her on a cruise. We have never been on one, I think it will be kinda boring, but it's not going to be for me. She likes Alaska, maybe I'll take her on one of those. She really does deserve it. I wish there is something I could do for her now that would show my appreciation, think I'll ask her later today. I wonder what she will say. Probably will want a little more help around the house, that's no bother for me. I do whatever she asks now, just not all the time when she asks it. If it's kinda of a time consuming thing, I wait a day or two. That's understandable I think.

I have been spending alot of time down here in the basement lately. It's not all the kids.....the lady has been watching The Waltons and Little House On The Prairie constantly. Fucking Hallmark channel shows 3-4 shows of each, each fucking day! My lady DVR's them and watches them all. I can't stand those fucking shows. My parents watched that shit back in the early 80's when they were new and I couldn't stand them then. I let her watch what she wants, it's the only thing that she can do really besides housework. She has not played her WOW game in ages. I think it is because she don't want the 8yr old hovering over her. I don't blame her at all. When he comes down here for an errand and I'm on the PC, he is curious as to what I'm doing, I have to tell him to go upstairs. It's not his fault. He's a kid and he's probably bored as well.

The lady went and visited the jailbird the other day, I told her not to go, but apparently it was his birthday.....sweet, the fuck had to spend his birthday in the clink......that's good for him. He deserves it. I hope he rots in there actually. He called her last night wanting something, I don't know what. I am sure glad I got collect calls blocked on our phones when the last worthless son was in the clink. He can't call her collect. He used his own dime this time.......he should the worthless good for nothing fuck.

The 8yr old mentioned the other day he wanted to be an artist when he grows up......LOL, I asked him, like your dad? He said no......I then told him, well if you want to be an artist, you better get used to not eating and mooching off of anybody that you can, just like your old man. Become a bum. Your dad wants to be an artist and look where that got him. Never had a house or anything. I told him your dad or mom for that matter don't have anything. Is that what you want to be when you grow up? He said no. I then explained to him that someday he is going to be a man. A man takes care of his family, if he don't do anything but sit on his ass all day and lets his wife work a low paying job.......sooner or later things are going to fall apart. Like what is happening to your mom and dad now. The man gets an education so that when he gets out of school he can get a good job to take care of himself and his family if he wants one. Simple as that.

Don't know if it sunk in, his parents have this kids head so fucked up, he has already got abandonment issues. He's like a dog with my lady. Never lets her out of his site when he's here. I don't let him cling to me, fuck that. We will see. His fucking parents should have been sterilized and prevented from having kids, the scum. But, that is what scum does..................BREEDS.

It's pathetic.

Doing Good

I'm still here. Feeling pretty good, just woke up having my coffee.

I go to Chemo later today. Ain't been doing much of anything lately. Just working.

I have been wasting my time on an old game I used to play a long time ago. It's called Star Control 2, it was on the 3DO game system. I have been looking to pick up a 3DO that works, but, man the people that have them want too much, at least 100 bucks. I don't want to spend that much.

Well, it looks as if some dudes that are big fans of the game ported it over to the PC and offered the download up for free. It looks like they have been working on this port for a very long time, few years. I dloaded it a couple nights ago. I must say, those dudes did an excellent job!! The game is just how I remember it, exactly.

Nothing else going on around here, we still have those dam kids.....but, at least I know they are safe.

I'm gonna ask the doc today when he is going to give me my next scan. These drugs are still working, I can feel it. I'm going to beat this!!!!!

Later All

No Chemo

Didn't do chemo yesterday, the doc came in and said my blood count was too low. I asked him about having a few "real" beers and he said as long as it was this one time I would be ok.

So as soon as I got home, camped out in the basement and drank 9. It went as well as I thought it would, caught a little buzz and listened to some loud music. That's it. Afterwards I realized, whats the the point? I really didn't have no more fun than I normally do, doing other things. I have come to the conclusion I'm not ever going to drink like that again. It was boring actually.

The doc did tell me that not drinking has helped me alot.......he said more than you know. So that's a plus. I go in for chemo next week. My blood should be up high enough by then.

Other than that, things are going the same around here. Feel good, no pain..etc...LOL.

Later Guys

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!

Smoking

I'm still smoking. It has not been a week yet. The way this stuff works I guess is, you smoke like you always have the first week, then, you are not supposed to want to smoke anymore after that. I will say this, it must be doing something because there have been times when I thought I wanted a smoke, and decided against it. I have also noticed that my cigs are starting to taste like shit. Wonder if that's the Chantix as well, I'm too lazy to look it up, I'll just go with the flow.

Speaking of taste. Something has developed that I do not like at all. The medicine that I am on is screwing with my taste buds. I noticed this about 1 1/2 months ago. I can no longer stand pizza!!!!!! My favorite food tastes like shit. Not just a certain pizza, all pizza. I think it may be the cheese. I can't stand the taste of it now. I did look this up, and the meds I'm on do screw with your taste buds. Why, oh why did it have to be pizza? Why couldn't have been green beans, or hot dogs (well, strike that, I love hot dogs).....but you guys know what I mean. That is just one other thing that I am going to have to look forward to when I beat this.

I am going up north, the best place to get really good pizza and go crazy. Simple as that. A pizza binge, it will be epic!

I got chemo tomorrow, things have been going good. I feel fine and have had no problems. I am curious to see what my blood count is. I hope it's up there and I will be able to take treatment.

The lady is going to see the jailbird tomorrow. I told her not to go after the shit he pulled last time. Let me explain. He basically blamed her for his crappy life. Do you believe that shit? He said she didn't bring him up good enough and that is why he is where he is, he was abused. Man, what a load of crap. Now, I was not there at the time of his childhood, but, just by the way my lady acts towards children and the way she has been jumping through hoops for each of her worthless sons since I have been with her, tells me he is full of shit. I have seen pictures of the holidays back then, the Christmas tree and crap like that. It all looks very normal, presents piled high under the tree, stuff like that. The fucking bum has never once given his child a good Christmas, the kid says so and I believe him.

I can't stand that worthless piece of shit, and if he ever shows up on my front doorstep, I'm dragging him off of my fucking property by his fucked up head. I was thinking of going with the lady tomorrow to tell him that, but, I can not. I'll be at chemo.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!   NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!

Chantix

Well, the lady and I have started Chantix today. She has taken it in the past and it worked for her for about 3 months. This is the first time I have tried it.

I am not sure how this is going to go. They only gave me a month supply with no refills. I'm not sure if a month is all I need or what. The lady took it for 3 months, but my lady loves taking pills......I think alot of her problems are in her head, but, I don't care. Give her another pill to take and keep track of and shes happy. Me, not so much.

I do know this. I hope these things work. I don't want to smoke anymore, and could use the cash that I will save not buying them anymore. If these pills work for me, and not her, the lady is buying her own smokes. Period. I have tried other things to quit and they all have failed. I hope these dam pills work and don't screw with my head.

Well, that's it for today. I'm feeling good, no pain anywhere and gotta work tonight, so, I'll let ya all go.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!

Had Chemo Today

Went into Chemo today. The doc said he can't believe how my blood is holding up. My platelet count was at 180. He said most people that have gone through 5 cycles of chemo (like I have almost, 1 treatment to go) usually can only take 1 treatment a month due to their blood counts being so low. In my case I have gone through 5 cycles at 1 treatment every week with only 2 weeks off since I have started. I am very lucky the lord has blessed me with very very good bones.

He said my leg looked good, it is still swelled up a bit, he said that it would take awhile for the swelling to go down, that is a very big clot in my leg. He said things will be fine, just to keep a real close eye on it and if it gets worse to get to the ER. I am not feeling any pain in my leg and there is no discoloration, so that's good.

He said that they will send me for my next CT scan after the next Chemo cycle. 1 Chemo cycle is 3 treatments and 1 week off. He said that I may take 3 treatments or 2 depends on my blood. Well, like I said I got rockin' bones so, I may take 3 treatments, that means 4 weeks till my next CT scan.

Oh I hope these cancer drugs are still working. I feel great, no pain anywhere, not losing any hair, eating alot and bathroom breaks are normal. I think they are still working. I am dreaming that my next scan will show my liver clear and the tumor down to 1 cm, small enough for them to cut it out. That is a dream of mine. I am just hoping for any improvement.

I am not sure at what point they can/will be able to cut out my tumor. I have read that they have cut out tumors as big as 5 cm. I think they are waiting for my liver to be clear. What sense would it be to cut up my pancreas when there are spots on my liver that can spread? Although, they can cut pieces of your liver off and it will grow back. They could cut out 65% of your liver and it will grow back, fast. That is the only human organ that does that.

I am very hopeful and determined. I am trying to keep a positive attitude and stay busy. I still take tumeric, 2 times a day. I think that stuff is really working good. Not sure though, and have no plans in stopping it. I pray to the lord above everyday for strength and thank him for what he has done for me already.  I would like to thank all of my friends and family for being there for their continued support. I do not think I could go through this alone.

I am going to win this war, I am not giving in. I am not going anywhere. I will fight until my last breath!

Thank You All For Your Support.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!

Things

Not working tonight. I don't feel so hot. I think I just maybe tired, not sure. I just feel kinda bla.

The worthless mother came and got her baby tonight, so my lady gets a little break. We still got the fuckin 8 yr old though. I think the lady wants to adopt the little shit. That is NOT going to happen. He is not living here (might as well say he is) and I am not going to be responsible for him.

I am getting real sick and tired of this shit. I'm at the point right now to telling my lady to just leave. Get a place move them all in with her and that's that. Period.

I have fucking cancer!!!! I'm fighting it. I don't need all this fucking Jerry Springer shit in my life right now.

We are gong to the city tomorrow. My lady has a real good talent of avoiding conversations like this. Well, she is going to be trapped in the car. I'm telling her things need to change, and if she does not want or will not change oh well. We are through. This is it. I have said this in this blog at least 10-12 times. That I would give her the ultimatum. Well, I'm doing it. Tomorrow.

Still Going Strong

It's been a few days. I'm still here. Still doing good. I have had a little set back kind of. Last week I noticed that my right leg from my knee down was swelling up. I had thought I pulled a muscle or something. I called the doc and he told me to use a compress, take 1 aspirin and to elevate it. I did that and the swelling went down a bit. I went into chemo 4 days ago and they did an ultrasound. There were blood clots in my leg from my groin all the way down to my foot.

I have been taking blood thinner shots since this started. I have taken 1 each day. The doc upped my shots to two a day. The swelling in my leg is almost gone now. I asked the ultrasound lady what could cause this and she told me either the cancer or the medicine.

Other than the clot in my leg I feel great, still tired all the time. The doc did tell me last chemo day that my blood work looked really good and I looked good as well. I feel fine, no pain anywhere and bathroom breaks are normal and I still have an appetite. These cancer drugs are still working, I can feel it. I am going to beat this monster, it's just gonna take a little while. I am not going anywhere.

Ok, now it's time for the bum update, or should I call him jailbird now?  It looks as if he is going to be in jail for awhile. He went to court again a couple days ago and the judge informed him that his bond is not going to be decreased because he is a danger to himself and others. Apparently he is sending letters to his wife telling her that if she does not take him back, he would have no other choice but to kill himself. Now, I have never been in jail, or prison and really don't know how things work in those places, but, you would think that the guards, jailers whatever would screen out going and incoming mail. The bum does not think so.

He asked my lady about putting our house up as collateral to get his ass out.......needless to say, she laughed at him. She is really pissed at him right now. She should be. He's a worthless piece of shit. We both agree that jail is a good place for him. Let him stay there as far we are concerned. I am hoping that his slut wife decides to move back up to scum town to be near her mother.

I am getting real sick and tired of these kids, but, I just gotta deal with them I guess. The mother is worthless and does not watch them or take care of them very well. She is more worried about herself than anything. At least with them staying here, I know that they are being cared for and are safe. I can't stand them, but, I do not want to see them get hurt or anything. If something were to happen to either one when staying with their fucked up mother because I said they could not stay here, I would be unable to live with myself. I got the basement. When they start getting bad, or that baby starts screaming, it's off to the basement I go. It's no big deal.

Got chemo again in a few days, I'm going to ask the doc when I get my next CT scan. I'm also going to be starting Chantix in the next few days when it arrives. Don't know how that's gonna go. I hope it works. I'm tired of being a smoker and have tried everything and failed.

That's it for now.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!

No Chemo Today

Just woke up. Not going to be doing chemo today. Feel really good. Just started my first cup of coffee.

The girl wants to go to the pet store today to get some fish for her tank, that's what I think we will do.

The girl had a talk with the mom yesterday to bring the stupid bitch back to reality. Don't know if it worked, the mom didn't look to happy though. At one point she said " Well, I'm responsible for my kids", I wanted to look her square in the eye and say BS, we are. But I didn't

 It's been really nice out for the last week. I hope this weather trend stays, I don't want to turn that AC on anymore, try and save a little on the electric bill. Have had all the windows in the house open, the lady says to air the house out. I really can't smell anything, so it don't matter to me. I just want it to stay cool in here.

Well nothing much else is happening. I feel good and I hope and pray that these chemo drugs continue to work.

Take Care Guys

Later

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

Feeling pretty good today. I worked a 12 hour shift last night. That was rough, but, I made it. Just woke up and now I'm having my coffee. It has been really nice outside the past 2 days. Turned the AC off a couple nights ago.

Well, I have come to accept the fact the kids are going to be here for a little while. I don't like it, but, it's for the best. See, the mother is a real piece of work. She seems to not care about them at all, only when it is convenient. She is the type of mother that would pawn her kids off on anybody that would agree to watch them. Now, I do not like kids......but, I do not want to see them get hurt either. It's not their fault their mother is an unfit, self centered slut. At least them staying here, they are safe and being properly taken care of.

The girl wants to turn her into the state. If that happens we would become the guardians if the state decides she is unfit. I have advised my lady that, that is not going to happen. The kids can stay here till the mom comes to her senses (which I believe is never going to happen), or the dad gets out of the clink. They are not going to permanently live here. I am not, and will not be responsible for 2 children. Period. The dad, when he gets out is not crashing here either. Been there done that.

But, like I said, I'm feeling really good today. Just took my afternoon medicine and feel peachy. Was planning on going to the flea market this morning, but, after working a 12 hour shift. I was just not up to it, didn't have any money anyways.

Took the girl out to eat yesterday, we went to Ryans. Now, the last time we were at this particular Ryans, they were still doing things the old way. You walk in, order your steak dinner, then pay a few bucks for the mega bar (buffet) well they changed it. Now they had steak on the buffet. They had the usual buffet stuff, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, veggies.......etc   They also had steak, roast beef, ham and ribs for the meat.

I had a steak to start off with, it was really good. Went back to get another one and the only ones the girl had were cooked well done. I like my steak medium, with a little pink, red in the middle. I decided to try carved roast beef. Man that stuff was good. It melted in my mouth. I had 3 helpings. Needles to say, I ate to much. I was really impressed. All of the things I tried were very tasty. That is usually not the case with buffets. So, all in all, it was a very good dinner and well worth the cash.

I am not going to be going to Chemo this week. The doc has given me a week off so that my blood counts will get a chance to raise. I am still taking the chemo pill once a day though. I hope these drugs continue to work. I don't know when I will have my next CT scan. I hope it will be good news though.

Later All

It Was The Energy Drinks

Had Chemo yesterday. My blood sugar lvls were up but not as high as last week and no cause for concern.  The doc told me they were that lvl yesterday and have been that lvl since I have started because of the steroids they are giving me. I told the doc about the energy drinks and he agreed, and stated that was why they were so high last week. So, needless to say I'm off em'.

Feel really good today, for the last week I have been having a problem with my right calf muscle, I think I pulled it while I was sleeping a few days ago. Well, that is starting to heal up and don't hurt very much now.

So, things are going peachy. Got some good sleep yesterday and last night, on my second cup of coffee this morning, lol.

Like I stated before, I'm not buying music anymore, baseball cards as well. It's a waste. I love playing classic video games and that is what this room in my basement is going to be dedicated to. Today's baseball cards are cool but ain't worth crap, or going to be worth crap because they make so many. In order to get the ones that will be worth something, you have to spend big time money, screw that. I'd rather spend the money on old video games. I don't care if they are worth or will be worth anything. I just love playing them.

My blood sugar lvl was at 400 something yesterday. My dad has to check his blood sugar lvls daily so I spoke with my mother about mine. She did say that is still very high, I advised her of what the doc said to ease her worries. I think I am going to watch my sugar intake and carbs for this next 2 weeks to see if I can get it lower.

Oh, the doc is giving me a week off from chemo because my blood counts yesterday were very low and he said I probably will not be able to take chemo next week. My count yesterday was 54, but he treated me anyways. I hope that these chemo drugs continue working and keep my cancer in remission. I hope, I hope. I pray to the lord everyday for his assistance and strength.

Well that's the report on yesterdays events, lol. Gotta go take my morning medicine. I'm feeling great and fighting this thing. The battle has just begun but, I have a good start and am hopeful. I will beat this.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!   NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!

Chemo Day

I go in for Chemo today. I am real curious to see what my blood sugar lvls are. I feel fine. Good actually. No pain anywhere, appetite is up there.....etc.

I hope these chemo drugs are still working. I'm still taking 2-3 teaspoons of tumeric every day.

Just got up, drinking my coffee. Did not do anything yesterday but sleep. It's a crappy day again today. It's raining. Not that I really care. I like it being overcast, I don't like the sun. The doc says I'm supposed to stay out of the sun anyways being on the drugs I'm on.

My lady is still giving me shots every morning for blood clots. I think the lord up above for sending the first one. I feel I am a better person because of it.

I don't have anything else planned for today. Chemo days usually wipe me out anyways. The lady has an appt. to go see the bum in the clink today, I think he goes to court tomorrow.

I watched the baby for a couple hours yesterday. Everything was fine until an hour into it. It woke up. Started making noise and then bam.......full onslaught.......scream, cry.......etc.

This went on for a good 20 minutes. I tried everything, my lady left a bottle, didn't work, pacifier, didn't work. I noticed the baby would quit crying when I stood over the crib. Turned on the light, presto.......silence. It just didn't like being in the dark. I don't know how my lady does it. I can not put up with it.

Like I said, I'm feeling really good today, looking forward to chemo later. I'll come back and let you all know what happened.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!

Happy Labor Day

Nothing going on here. Have both kids and it's crappy outside. It has been raining for 2 days now. Was going to maybe take the lady out for a steak last night, she wound up sleeping all day so we didn't go. I had Chinese take out. It was pretty good.

Don't have anything planned for today, I go in for Chemo tomorrow. I am curious to see what my blood sugar lvls are now that I have quit the energy drinks. I feel ok, little tired, but I just woke up.

Well, I have made a decision, once again. This room in my basement is going to be strictly for video games. No baseball cards, no music. Today's baseball cards are way to much money and I no longer listen to music any longer, only in the car. The record table I built awhile ago is going to be taken apart and I'm putting shelves up in that place for games. Man I have alot of crap, I may have to rent a storage unit.

The lady is starting to accumulate a pretty big crap pile as well.

She's pissed off at me today for smoking down here. She is going to get the pills she needs to quit in a few days and she says she can smell the cig smoke. She has got this over fucking sensitive nose that is frankly getting on my dam nerves. Here lately I have been thinking in my head how things would be without her. I would not have to deal with her worthless fucking family, do what ever I want. Nothing to tie me down. But, then I think of all the times I like her here.Her family is the is the big problem, so I have mentioned in this blog before. I don't think she has heard anything from the idiot up north. I'm surprised, my lady got her check. They are usually calling about this time to borrow money.

Fucking scum. They will never change.

Same Same

Howdy all. Things are going the same around here. Been working from home and sleeping. That's all I do if I'm not working. Sleep. Went to chemo a few days ago, the doc said my blood sugar was off the charts and they had to give me a shot of insulin. I have never had a problem with my blood sugar before. I think it may be due to the energy drinks I had been drinking. I started drinking energy drinks a couple weeks ago besides coffee when I work, because they worked better. I have given up on the energy drinks and will see what my blood sugar lvls are in a few days.

Other than that, things have been going ok. Still putting up with that screaming baby. I don't know how my wife can deal with it. I have been spending most of my time down here away from the little monster. The baby is starting to get her teeth in, so that means crying constantly. Don't know whats going to happen with the bum, he's still in the clink and his slut wife is living high on the hog with her boyfriend I guess.

Taking the lady to the flea market later today. I hope to find some classic video game deals. Not going to buy anymore music I have enough and plus don't really listen to music any longer. That's what I did when I drank. I have not had a real drink in over 3 months. So, it is pretty safe to say I am a non drinker now. Which is good. I was wasting my life away doing that.

I have neglected that pool so bad. The water is now light green, lol. I may do something to it this weekend. I just do not have the energy to do anything really. This chemo is hitting me hard. I'm just glad the only side effect is being tired and having no energy. Slept about 15 hours yesterday, I'm trying to wake up now. Feel pretty good actually, may take the lady to Denny's for breakfast, I'm not sure.

The bitch is coming to get her fucking brood today so we will have the weekend to ourselves. Might go out for a steak tonight, who knows.

Work

Well my work week begins today. I work from home now so it's not that bad. Been saving a bunch on gas. I have an hour commute each way so working from home is alright.

Had chemo yesterday, caught the doc in the hallway while I was leaving and he said my lab and blood work looked really good so I'm still on the right track I hope. I have been feeling pretty good, no pain or anything so that's a good sign I think.

These dam kids are really starting to get on my nerves. I think I may have to sit down and have a talk with the lady, I can't take this crap for very much longer. My lady is doing the bitch a huge favor by watching them, but, my lady does not see it that way because they are her grand kids. Now the fucking 8 year old is in band at school and he chose the play the violin. I guess he is supposed to practice 1 hour each day. My lady put him in the basement yesterday, I came down and kicked the kid out, I ain't gonna put up with that fucking noise. I really hope his dam mother decides to move back up north, man I wish that would happen. I was a dumb fuck for letting the bum come stay with us the time he was going to be homeless. That is the only reason they decided to stay here, also his fucking mother is here and he can mooch off of her. That is one mistake I am never going to make again in my life.

Hell, the other son wanted to live with us for awhile with his fucking family, I said no and it is never going to happen. Ya know, when I first met my lady she told me she had 2 grown kids, I figured that's cool, they are adults no problem. Man I wish I knew then what I know now. If I would have known that both her fucking kids are bum mama's boys, I never would have hooked up with my lady. Both of her kids are pathetic losers.

I just found this out a couple days ago, the bums wife cheated on him with 3 guys, not just one. He knows about it and still loves the bitch and wants to remain with her. Do you believe that crap? What a pathetic excuse for a man. He is a big wuss, period. He don't wanna stay with her for the kids sake, no, he loves her. I bet she is the first chick the guy ever got to screw, that's sad. They have been together the lady says for over 10 years. Man what a panty waste this dude is. I don't think the guy ever had a father figure growing up, so, that kinda explains how much of a little pansy the guy turned out to be. His kid is probably going to turn out the same way, I ain't gonna be the kids father figure, screw that. It's not my job, and I don't want it. The kid is already a very big mama's boy, you can blame my lady for that. She babies him constantly, I ain't going to say anything because it's not my place. He is her grand child.

The other son is a man, he tries to take care of his family, not a big wuss, he's just dumb as a box of rocks and lazy.

Neither of them even if they wanted too could not join the service, they both have criminal records and the one up north didn't finish high school. The bum was in the service, the Air Force, but he quit. He could not take it. That does not surprise me at all.

Well, I have ranted about her worthless family for long enough. Feeling real good today, didn't get much sleep last night. Probably take a nap this afternoon.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!

Chemo Today

I go in for chemo today. Been feeling really good after the news last week. Nothing much has been happening. I am curious as to what my blood count is going to be today. The doc told me last week now that I have been on chemo for awhile, my blood counts will start to get lower and lower and that I may be only able to take chemo 2 times a month. Well, we will see this afternoon. I am hopeful my blood counts will not be that low. I know they will be up there today because I did not do chemo last week.

I am going to beat this with the Lords help and support of my friends and family. My lady is the greatest. My only complaint is her dam kids. Since the bum is in jail, the bitch wife has to work and my lady has been watching the kids. At first I did not mind the 8 yr. old, but now they both are starting to get on my nerves. I'm getting sick of them. The lady has been doing all the work with them and I am starting to see it is taking it's toll.

A baby is a 24 hour job, and she is watching the 8 yr. old as well, getting up in the AM early to get his ass off to school and shit. I may have to get involved and tell the bitch that's enough. Find somebody else. Not to mention now I have to deal with a screaming baby in my house. My lady is well aware I am not going to take much of that shit and has been keeping the baby pretty quiet.

Other than that, I feel really good. No pain anywhere or anything. I'm tired all the time. But oh well, if that is the only side effect that I get from this chemo, I'll take it. Working at night is a choir, trying to stay awake that is, but I have been managing. I am just glad my boss is behind me and supporting like he is. I am going to ask the doc today about returning to work fully, I will see what he has to say.

Well, gotta go get ready for my doc visit.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!

GOOD NEWS!!!!!

Got my CT scan results. The tumor has shrunk. It was 5 centimeters, now it is 4, the spots on my liver are starting to shrink as well. These drugs are working!!! There were nodules in my chest cavity as well, they are now gone. The doctor said I am doing great and to keep it up. This is very good news for me. We have stopped the cancer from growing and now it is shrinking.

I am going to be still doing Chemo with the same drugs the doc said, until we see no improvement, then he will add other drugs to to the mix to fight this thing. The bad thing about this cancer is, it can become resistant to chemo drugs. I hope in my case it does not. But, it is not spreading, it's shrinking..........WOOHOOO!!!!

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!     NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!

CT Scan Tomorrow

Looking for ward to my CT scan tomorrow. I get the results on Wed........I hope these drugs are working. I hope, I hope. I go in early in the morning. I have to drink this gross stuff tonight.

Went to the bums arranment, he is charged with 2 felonies and a couple lesser charges. The felonies could bring 10-20 years a piece. I think his bitch wife wanted this to happen so that he is out of the picture. I don't know. I do know that the bitch is going to be raising her fucking kids by herself. They ain't gonna be over here while she is out screwing her boyfriend.

The grandkid stated that his mom is thinking about moving back up north.........oh......please let that happen.

The bum has another court date next week, I guess then we will see what the deal is. He may goto prison.....I don't like the guy, but I would not wish that on anybody. He does not deserve prison. His wife does, the bitch. Not him. She knew what the fuck she was doing. A person can only take so much. The bum was stupid going over there though. I would have just packed up my shit and got the fuck out of there and divorced the bitch. If I was him I would move to the west coast, start life over......screw the bitch.

But, the bum is lazy. If he gets out, he is goingto stay around and mooch off of all that he can. Now he has a criminal record.....he is never goingto get a job. Not that he wll try anyways. He ain't staying here.

Feeling real good otherwise. Later All!!

Bum Update

Well it looks as if the bum has grown a pair. Don't know if I mentioned this earlier but the bums wife has been cheating on him for awhile now. She has been sleeping around with a younger guy she met at work. The bum was letting this happen. What a spineless fuck. It came to a head today I guess.

Apparently the slut went to work, found out she did not have to work today and it's off to the boyfriends. The bum called her work for something and they told him she was not working today. So, I guess he went over to the boyfriends house. Now, why he didn't kick the shit out of the boyfriend and the slut before now is beyond me. But, he got there I guess and beat the boyfriend up and now is in jail. Don't know if the boyfriend got arrested, but we heard there was a gun involved. No shots where fired I don't think.

He left the kids with a hotel neighbor he knows, but now we got them. The slut is nowhere to be found. She is not answering her phone.

They have night court here in this town, so the bum maybe released if the slut don't bail him out first. Don't know how long we are going to have the kids, but the grandkid said he has a field trip with school tomorrow, I said your going to miss it if your parents do not pick you up tonight. We ain't taking you to school in the morning.

Hell, I don't even know were the dam school is, neither does the lady. That baby better sleep all fucking night, I ain't gonna deal with the crap. That's why I'm down here.

Well, I'm filling up the pool right now, It may be complete. Next I have to back wash the pump and add the chemicals, fun fun.

Well, that's the bum update. Why he let this shit go on for so long is beyond me. I would have left the slut after she did it twice. First time can be forgiven, we all have the idea of straying sooner or later. But two times, your outta here whore.

BTW, other than the Jerry Springer crap going on, I feel really good.

Later All

CT Scan Next Week

Went for Chemo yesterday. The Doc said my blood count was low, but he would treat me anyway. He said probably next week it will be to low for me to be treated, so, he is going to scan me to see where we stand. Oh......I hope these drugs are working. I can't wait. I'm a little nervous as well. If they are not working, I don't know what is going to happen. The prognosis for the type of cancer that I have is not very good if they can not get it to stop. It is in-operable they cannot cut it out. So......I am asking all to pray for me that the drugs are working as they should.

I still feel good. Eating normal and such, so that is a good sign. Work has been going ok, I sit here at night and go over old logs and trouble reports, it keeps me busy and productive. I hope to go back to work fully some day. I have spoken to my boss, he is very supportive of me and says my company is behind me 100%. I thank the lord for that. It is rare in today's atmosphere to find a company that values its employees in such a high manner. I am thankful. My desk is still the way I left, waiting for me to return. I work with a real good group of guys, I can't wait to get back in there. Hopefully.

I have done nothing in the basement. I go to bed every night and think the plans over in my head as to what I want to do. I hope I have the time left to do everything. I'm only 44, I am going to beat this. I have a good 40 years left in me at least. I'm strong and apparently my immune system rocks along with my blood, so that's in my corner.

I have decided that when I do beat this, I am no longer going to drink on a weekly basis. I will have a few on special occasions and I am going to get into shape. Lose the gut and build up my body.Smoking is a thing I will address at a later time. I need the cigs right now to help with the stress I'm under because of this disease.

I did have some financial worries a few weeks ago, but that problem has been taken care of and is complete, nothing big happened except making me broke......real broke, LOL. Oh well. I don't have to worry about it now.

Have not heard anything from the bums as far as I know. I do know that the bum that lives down here is not really looking for a place to live very hard. I think him and his wife like living in that dumpy hotel. They have the kid now so that makes 2 adults, 1 eight year old and a new born baby living in a hotel room with 2 double beds. It's pathetic. For the cash they spend on that hotel, they could find a nice apartment or house. Hell add 300 bucks to what they spend and that would be our house payment. Sheeesh. He's and idiot. He needs to get a job and stop sitting on his ass. They have 2 cars so that would not be a problem. I'm sure my girl would watch their kids if they both work at the same time.....for a price of course. The free ride is over. I will not let them use her any longer.

That's t for now. Wish me luck for next week. I am praying for good news.

Later All

Tired

Yep, I'm back at work, working from home. I have been really tired the last 3-4 days. I did not work last night wanted too, but I was beat. I must have slept 20 hours yesterday. I got up long enough to eat supper then went back to bed. This chemo, is getting to me. I am glad that the only side effects I have is the tired part. It's becoming a real pain though when I want to work. But, that can not be helped.

Like I said I slept all day yesterday. Got off work at 830, went to bed woke up at 6 PM, ate supper, laid back down planning on getting up at 930 to start work at 10. That did not happen. I woke up at 930 got out of bed, then went right back to bed. I could barely stand. Slept till 8 this morning. I am wide awake now. I needed that sleep. I need to get into the groove of things.

Staying up at night and sleeping during the day. I do sleep during the day, but end up sleeping at night as well.

I pray to the Lord above these drugs are working. The waiting is the hardest part. I think I'm going to go in for a CT scan in 3 weeks to find out. Initially I had 20 spots on my liver. I am hoping that those spots are now gone. The DOC says that the priority is getting the cancer to stop. Then we can work on getting it to go into remission. I hope we have stopped it. I think we have. I have not felt better actually. I feel great. If the cancer was spreading I would probably be getting sicker and I am not. I feel really good besides being tired all the time. No pain or anything. Still have my appetite and go to the bathroom regular. So we will see.

Really ain't done nothing in the basement beside move a few things around. I'm working down here now, so I'm down here more than usual.

Ain't heard nothing from the bums, as far as I know, so that's a good thing.

Back To Work

Well, It's been a few days since I last posted here. I went back to work. I am working from home now.

It's been alright. I am keeping my mid shift and It has been kinda hard to stay up all night but I have managed.

Since I have been working out of my basement, when I get off work I go upstairs and sleep all day.  When I get up, I avoid the basement. LOL.

I still feel very good. Just tired. I go in for chemo today, we will see if working has affected my blood count. It probably has because when I was not working I slept  a lot. We will see.

My boss has told me that I can work from home as long as it takes. I am hoping that these drugs are working and I will be able to return to work and be sitting at my desk in a couple months.

With the lords help, and the support from all of my family and friends I am going to beat this thing.

We took the kid back last week. Have not heard anything from the bum, which is good. Probably will on the first when his mom gets her check. The scum fuck up north is already bugging her for money. Both these scum fucks know they ain't gonna get squat from me, the worthless freeloaders.

Later All

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!

Side Note

We are taking the kid back to his parents today. He starts school in a week, we ain't dealing with that crap. The lady called the bum last night to inform him of our intentions.....LOL. He told her he doesn't know how that's going to work out. They are still in the hotel and the bus does not go out that far........well, looks like your going to have to RAISE YOUR OWN KID now buddy.

Fuck I can't believe these people. We have had their kid all summer. They have called 2 times I think to talk to him period. The kid wanted to stay with his folks for a night or two a couple weeks ago. He stayed 2 nights and called for me and the lady to come get him, my lady heard the mother in the back ground telling the kid what to say. Do you believe that shit? She did not want him there any longer. Didn't want to put up with him I guess. Trying to entertain an 8 year old in a hotel room is rather difficult I can imagine. Well guess what people, your gonna have too now. I don't understand it. This kid is very well behaved. Very well. He's not the run all over, hyper, constantly need direction type. You tell him to sit and play with his toys he does, he's no trouble at all. His fucking parents are the problem. It is obvious that they don't want the kid. That's sad. I like the little guy, not enough to become his legal guardian though. Screw that. He is more than welcome to visit. Not live here. Period.

I heard these people are paying 800.00 a month to stay in that crappy hotel. Sheesh, for 8 a month they could find a nice apt. or maybe a house. These people are tards. I could give a shit about these people. The bum called last week I think it was, he ran out of gas and was in a parking lot somewhere, wanted us to bring him a gallon. Ha, I said the neighbor has our gas can, don't have any cash to go buy another (I just didn't want too) and for him to call his wife, or one of his friends, we could not help him. He never called back, I am assuming that he found somebody. I don't care. We ain't running his kid to school either, or picking him up. Period. This fuck knew this day was coming. I'm hoping he moves himself and and his scum ass wife back to scum town where he belongs. I'm taking back what I said earlier. If they do decide to move, I ain't giving them a penny.

My Blood Count Keeps Rocking!

Well, up a little early today. Went to the doc did my chemo, the doc said I'm doing really good and my blood count was off the charts. He said I have very very good bone marrow, my platelet count was at 247. He said since I am doing so well, he is going to sched me for a 4th chemo treatment before they take a CT scan to see where we are at. We are hitting this crap hard. I feel it in my heart I'm going to beat this, a couple of my friends and mother have stated the same. I have noticed that every time that I go in for chemo, I am the youngest one there all the time. I am hoping with a little help from above and the support from all of my friends and family that I will beat this and be able to continue on with my life. The good lord I hope is watching over me.

I did not start work last night, with my chemo yesterday, going into work to pick up a work laptop, stopping at the lady's doctor and running a few more errands by the time I got home I was beat and it was about 6 in the evening with me wanting to start work at 10, I did not get a chance to take a nap so I decided not to work. I called my boss and he basically told me that I could work anytime I want as long as I get my 40 hours a week in, so I'm ok in that dept.

I have noticed something, since I have been diagnosed, a little before that I think, my dog has not let me out of his sight. He follows me around constantly. He did that before but not this closely. I mean if he is in a room sleeping he wakes up and looks for me, if the door is closed and I am not there he barks. I have read that animals, especially dogs and cats can sense, smell certain diseases, like that cat in the nursing home a few years ago. He would go sit in front of a persons bed that is going to pass soon. Maybe my dog can sense/smell the monster inside of me.

I have changed my mind in the vinyl dept. I am going to continue to collect them. CD's, 8-tracks, laser discs, etc.......    I have figured out how to maximize my space down here. I can't do it now because my finances are a little low, but as soon as I am able I will re-arrange this room and everything will fit with a lot of shelf space to spare for growth. Video games, baseball cards, and records.

I am glad I do not drink anymore. I have not even craved a beer since I stopped. Tried the non-alcohol stuff it tastes just like beer, but It just does not go down. I do plan on having a real beer though. That is going to happen next year on May 29th (the day I got diagnosed)  if my prognosis is good. I am going to go down to the local bar, me and the lady and I am going to have 1 pint. That is my goal. Then the year after that I am going to have 2 pints....etc. That's my plan. I am going to beat this. I am very determined and my attitude could not be better. I do not know if it's not drinking anymore, the drugs I'm on or what, but I feel better now than I have in a very very long time. Years actually.

I did notice and realize this yesterday though. Before I went to immediate care, the place that started all of this, I was having stomach aches constantly for about 1 1/2 months. I didn't pay it no mind. Figured it was something I ate or the stomach flu. Well, a constant stomach ache is a symptom of pancreas cancer. I had no idea. Well, I can say now that since I started chemo I have not had any stomach problems at all, none. They even gave me meds to take for nausea. I have never had to take them. I am hoping that the lack of stomach problems means that this chemo is working and killing this cancer. I am hopeful.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!

Been a Few Days

It's been a few days since I posted here. Everything is still going good. I feel great, no problems at all.

I go in for chemo today, I want to see what My blood count is, I had last week off.

I am returning to work in a sense, I start working from home tonight. I wonder how that is going to go.

Gotta get ready to go to the DOC.

See Ya's

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!

Normal

Woke up feeling pretty good today. I'm sitting here on my 2nd cup of coffee.Had to put some water in the pool this morning, it was low. With all of this hot weather we have been having and the sun being relentless the water is evaporating quickly. I need to keep a certain water lvl in there for the pump. The pump is cooled by the water it pumps, if there is no water to pump it will burn up, so I have to make sure that water lvl is up.

Found some algae growing on the side this morning, scrubbed that off, I'm going to have to go to the store and get some pool shock to kill it off, no biggie, gotta get some more chlorine as well, it has been awhile since I dumped some in. The water is nice and clear though, it ain't going green.

Man, I slept all day yesterday and went to bed last night at 10 and slept till 7 this morning. This chemo is hitting me hard, I'm always tired. It's a small price to pay though considering these drugs might be killing the cancer inside of me.

I go in next week for my 3rd round of chemo. Do that once a week for 3 weeks then they will take a CT scan and see how these drugs are doing. Oh, I hope they are working. I'm going crazy wanting to know, the waiting is the hardest. I think they are working because I feel fine. No pain anywhere, have my appetite, and going to the john on a regular basis. The doctor told me most people can not take 3 rounds in a row due to their blood, me, my blood work keeps coming back excellent so that is a big plus.  I am keeping my weight up as well.

Gotta take the lady in for a doc appt. today, this one is here in town so that's a plus. I really don't feel like going into the city today.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!    NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!

Blood Work

Had my blood work done yesterday, the doc said it looked really good. My platelet count was low but he stated that was to be expected. He did say that most people have a count that low after going through 2 cycles of chemo, I have gone through 3 so that's good. I feel good today, got some sleep last night and slept in this morning, woke up at 0630, lol

The lady ain't doing so hot, she got some shots in her back for the last 3 weeks and they have not helped her, in fact she says the the shots have made her pain worse. I might have to take her into to her doctor today to see why she is in so much pain.

I really don't have any plans today at all, so if she needs to go, it won't get in the way of anything.

Have not heard anything from the bum, ya think that he or his wife would call ya know, to check up and talk with their kid? Nada, nothing. These people take the cake. I am sure the bum wants my lady to adopt him, but that ain't gonna happen, screw that. If it were to happen, (not that it ever will) I'm sure the bum has no idea what I will put on them. I will go after them for child support, insurance and anything else I can make them pay, period.

Not hearing anything from them has me assuming  they are still staying in a hotel. The grand kid has said on occasion that when they did have a place the bum and his wife never left the bedroom, that's where the TV and computer was, so living in a hotel is probably regular for them. Who the fuck knows?

I do know this, the kid is going back with them next week whether they have a place or not, period.

Man I hate dealing with scum.

Back Home

Got back yesterday, had a great time up North. Everything is normal, here I am having my morning coffee and reading the news. I feel good today, going in later for some blood work, not doing chemo this week.

I had a really good time up north this time, we had this impromptu picnic and a lot of my family showed up, many I have not seen in years, it was great. The only low point was me being tired all the time. That is the only side effect I am showing from chemo so far, being tired all the time. Other than that I feel great.

I got some real good pizza up there. I have been around the world and I have not had pizza that can even compare to the pizza in scumtown.

I really liked being back home with my folks for a few days and seeing old friends and family members. I do not know when I will get the chance to go back.

Well, school for the grand kid starts in a couple weeks. His folks better have a place because he is going back with them. I have informed my lady that he is not staying here while going school. The whole summer is enough. I value my mornings. It is a time for me to relax with my coffee and just veg in front of the computer. My lady usually sleeps till around 10 or 11or so. We are not getting up to get him off to school. That is not our job.

If the bum does not have a place, getting his kid back may be an incentive. Try to entertain an 8 year old in a hotel room, ha! Right now they only have a baby that sleeps all the time. The kid is not coming over after school either, screw that crap. He can stay on the weekends but that's it.

God I wish that bum would just go back to scumtown where he belongs.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!! NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!

Bath Day

We are going to try and give the dog a bath today. He is smelling pretty bad. We have only given him 1 other bath in the past, he never needed one, well he is getting older now and his skin is starting to get very dry. He did not like the last bath we gave him but he was a lot younger then. He may enjoy this one.

My lady brushed him last night, he ate that up, he never liked to be brushed either but he loved it last night. I am thinking it may go the same with the bath, I hope so.

Going up North tomorrow, I can't wait to see my folks. Not looking forward to the drive, but that can't be helped. My lady has stated that she wants to drive most of the way this time. I'm going to have to think about that. I do not like leaving my house for extended periods, I'm a homebody. I have informed my neighbor that we are going to be out of town and he has agreed to keep an eye on the house.

With the bum here I really do not like the idea of leaving, hard telling what that guy might pull especially now that he is living in a hotel. But, I have advised my neighbor that if there are any strange cars lurking around to call the police and myself, he has both my lady's and I's cell phone numbers.

Feeling pretty good today, I go in for chemo later. I really hope that these drugs are doing their job.

Sunday

Feeling real good this morning, got a bunch of sleep last night. Went to the city yesterday, the lady got a couple fish for her tank, me, I got a Papa Murphy's pizza. It sucked, I ruined it by over cooking it, man I was mad, but oh well.

Well, it looks as if we are going up North in a few days, I can't wait to see my parents, I'm looking forward to it. We are going to stay there for 4 days, can not stay any longer due to doctors appts. My folks have a little picnic planned for next Saturday with all of my family that are up there to attend so I can see them. I am very much looking forward to that.

I am going to beat this disease, I am really scared but full of determination. With the Lords help I will beat it. I have since become a better person because of this disease. I hate no longer. I can not believe how much of my life I wasted hating. It made me miserable and my lady as well. Sure, I still dislike some people, but hate no longer. I have since come to value my life and look to better it and others lives around me.

I still am not going to let my lady's family take advantage of her, those are the few people I still dislike, but, I tolerate them for her sake.

I do not have anything planned for today except to go pick up my medicine and that's it. It's going to be a lazy day for me. I did do alot of sleeping yesterday, slept for around 12 hours all combined. I feel really good this morning though, on my second cup of coffee and going strong, LOL.

We do have a financial issue that I will take care of in 2 weeks, I let the lady know about it last night, she got pretty upset and started to cry, I advised her that everything is taken care of and we are going to be fine. I am glad that she knows everything now. From now on I am not going to hide anything from her. I hid things from her in the past because she gets so worked up and upset. Not any longer. She lives here to, I am not going to shield her from the truth any longer. In the past I have let bills slide because she wanted something, etc....... No longer. I just like seeing her happy. I'm going to have to deal with it now. The issue is not very bad and will be resolved in 2 weeks, but that did not stop her from going overboard, moping around the house all last night, not eating......crap like that. I hope today she is over it.

I do not need this crap to worry about, I advised her that last night. My lady can be quite melodramatic at times, last night was one of them. She better be over it today or we will have to have a talk. I do not need her bringing me down.

Other than that I feel peachy, really good. I am going to beat this.

Feeling Good

Feeling pretty good this morning, I hope this trend continues. I feel normal, no pain or anything anywhere. I am hoping that is the cancer drugs working to kill the cancer inside of me. I want to think that if they were not working I would be getting worse. I will not know till I take my next CT scan probably in about 5 weeks. I sure do hope these drugs are working. I still am showing no side effects from the chemo other than being tired sometimes.

The bills are starting to roll in, boy I am glad I got some pretty good ins. I do not know where I would get all of the money to pay for these treatments. I had to call the hospital to make payment arrangements on one very large bill. I am just going to have to pay it off on a monthly basis, but, it is going to continue to go up as long as I keep being treated. Oh well. I do not need to make any big purchases anyways, I have all that I want actually. (Except a house on the beach in Guam......LOL) That's a dream of mine.

The bum came over again last night. The lady cooked dinner for them so the bums wife could do my lady's hair. Nothing much happened really, they came, they ate, they left. I felt good getting rid of them. I was nice, it was not easy.

Taking the lady to the city today, she wants to do some shopping. I might pick up a Papa Murphy's pizza, I like those. Other than that I don't have anything else planned for today. It's gonna be good to get out of the house for a few hours.

I have come to a decision regarding the Vinyl collection. I am done. I am not going to be buying records any longer. I have enough. The ones I do have I'm placing on the shelf to collect dust. I want to concentrate on video games and baseball cards. Now I just need to build the shelves.

I want to do a complete overhaul in this basement. I have this desk that is giant size I want to get rid of and am thinking of moving the stereo upstairs in the living room and hooking it to the TV for surround sound. I am also thinking of selling my big DJ speakers, I never use them and do not listen to loud music any longer. I know that I am not going to get what they are worth out of them, maybe I'll just rent a storage unit and put everything in there. Not sure yet.

I do know that I am never going to be a heavy drinker again, period. If I get past this disease I am only going to drink beer.....maybe, that's a big maybe, on special occasions. I can not believe how much of my life I wasted being drunk. I had a problem and I thank the Lord up above for bringing me around.

Time for another coffee......Later All!

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!

Whew, no bum

The bum didn't show last night which is good I was really tired and had a hard time falling to sleep. Feel pretty good this morning though. I think they maybe coming over later today, I hope those plans change. I may just hang down here in the basement today.

Nothing really planned for today other than try and stay cool, it is going to be in the 100's again today, man I hate hot weather. If I could get a job in Alaska doing what I do, I would move in a minute, but oh well.

Guess I'm just going to have to keep wishing like everybody else for a lotto win...LOL.

I have started back on the anxiety pills, I was having very bad thoughts and was just about to crack, so, I'm part of the zombie nation again, they make me feel better anyways.

The Day After

Nothing going on, feeling pretty good this morning. On my 2nd cup of coffee.

Well, the bum did come over last night, it wasn't that bad. He picked up some big fireworks and lit them off. Now, I don't understand this. They are homeless living in a hotel, although, he can spend money on fireworks. Man, these people really take me. But, scum will be scum, simple as that. I have noticed in the past it is usually people that don't have a penny to their name are the ones that spend big bucks on crap like that, that is why they have no cash, lol.

I got some firecrackers for 3 bucks. Lit them off, I have not done anything like that since I was a kid. It was fun, I got 3 bucks worth of enjoyment out of it, hehehehe. I don't spend much money on crap like that, and will never do it. It's a waste period. Might as well put a couple 20's on the ground and light them on fire and watch them burn, that's how I look at it anyways.

I will say this, the lady finally admitted she thinks the bum is an idiot. All this time she was praising him for the IQ that she said he had when she had him tested in high school, she would say " he is very smart, scored really high on the IQ test one of the highest in the school". Well you can have a high IQ and still be dumb as a box of rocks, what she does not understand is an IQ is a measurement of your learning ability, not your smarts. Now, the bum is lazy, he don't want to learn anything, hence him being an idiot. The worst kind actually, he thinks he's smart. Oh, well, these people are scum and that's that. My lady knows how I feel about her brood and has accepted it, I think she is disappointed in both of them as well, but she can do nothing.

Other than that, I feel great today actually. Gotta go into the city later for a doctors appt. for the lady. She is going in for the last shot in her back, I'm glad, crap, these procedures take at least 3 hours, they don't do the crap till late in the afternoon and we usually don't get home till after 8 that sucks, but oh well don"t have anything else to do.

The bum might come over tonight as well because his wife is off, I'm hoping we get back and it's too late, putting up with the guy for 1 day is enough, I don't think I could stand 2 days.

Wish me luck. Later All

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!

Side Note

I quit taking those anxiety pills, they were turning me into a zombie and I could not think straight. The lady liked me on them because I was totally compliant and non argumentative. Screw that. I'm going to think what I want and speak my mind, I always have and always will.

My lady has this talent of avoiding the truth, then she forgets and acts like nothing has ever happened. Her sons exploit that fully. They both have treated her like whale shit several times in the past. To both come back and not even apologize and act as if nothing went on as well. Well, I am not side stepping the truth any longer, If it upsets my lady she can leave, I am not keeping her here.

I am not taking any more anxiety pills either. I have come to except that fact that I have cancer and am going to fight it till my last breath.

Happy 4th

It's the 4th. Nothing different today on the docket really. I told the lady yesterday "that I really am in no mood to put up with the her bum son, but, if she really wants to BBQ and have him over, I guess I could tolerate him for a few hours" she really did not like that comment.

Even though she has called him a bum on several occasions. I am so sick and tired of her family. These two bums can do nothing for themselves. It's pathetic. It has come down to the point that I am actually considering splitting up and shipping her back to scum town, It is obvious her son up there needs her constant attention. I am through being the "nice guy" I am through taking taking care of her. It is time for me to start taking care of myself. I am not going to think of her first any longer. If being with her is a detriment to my health, I'm going ship her off, simple as that.  I told her yesterday I am no longer going to think of her first any more. We had a little tift in the doctors office that opened my eyes. She said some things that gave me a little insight into where she sees this relationship I think. Most of our fights are about her no-load family anyways.

The stress that these two no-loads pile onto us is mind boggling to say the least.

Other than that rant from above, I feel pretty good this morning. I had my 5th round of chemo yesterday, the nurse said my blood work looked amazing, so that's a plus. I just hope that these chemo drugs I'm taking are doing their job. I hope and pray they are.

Well that's it for my 4th of July post. They are calling for rain today, I really don't feel like BBQing, even if the bum does come over.

Later All, God Bless

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!

July 2

Well, not much going on today. Woke up had my coffee, I feel pretty good. Added some chlorine to the pool it needed it. Don't plan on doing much of nothing today, probably play video games.

The 4th is two days away. We have not gotten alot of rain, it rained last night for a little while I think from the looks this morning. I hope some stupid redneck don't start any fires with his stupid fireworks.
That is one thing I could never understand, maybe I'm a cheapskate, I don't know. I could never bring myself to pay good money for stupid fireworks, period. I smoke and that in a sense is burning money, but sheeesh, I could never spend the kind of money some people spend on that crap. Ask them what they are celebrating, I bet that they could not even tell you, ask them what the fireworks signify, they would probably be clueless.

The lady and I really don't have any plans for the 4th. She mentioned inviting the bum over for a little BBQ, I don't know about that. The stupid bum has been living in a hotel for the past 3 weeks, lol. He would probably jump at that chance of some real food.

One thing did happen about a week ago I think I should mention. He was talking to the lady on the phone, asked if him and his wife could come over for supper. My lady said she would have to check with me, hehehe, he told her not to worry about it. HA! That bum knows I ain't taking any of his shit, period. I am not going to let him use my wife at all. That's why he told her not to worry about it.

Now we have the other bum son up North bugging us. He wants to borrow 50 bucks from his mom. Why he says borrow is beyond me. He is never going to pay it back.  He lost his job which is par for the course actually. The guy gets a job works a few weeks then gets canned........ah, but, it's always somebody else who is to blame, or something that he had no control over. Ya right, I say, he's lazy, he don't want to work. He wants his wife to support him like before. Man these 2 are a real piece of work, I'll tell ya.

I wish they would both just leave us alone.

Hung Some Shelves For The Wife

Did that yesterday, she's happy. I still want to do some work in the basement, but, been feeling a little tired lately.

I do feel great in the AM when I first wake, then it's down hill, lol.

For those of you that read this I have this link to share.

http://www.curcuminresearch.org/cancer.html

I have been taking tumeric spice 3 times daily in my V8 juice. Curcumin is the primary ingredient in that spice. It has been known to fight cancer. That link above gives a bunch of info, what I found very interesting is that curcumin makes chemo stronger. I hope to get through this and with Gods help I will.

Think I might work on the basement today.

Later All

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!  NEVER SURRENDER!!!!

WASPS!!!!!!

Got stung by a wasp his morning.........man that hurt!!!

Went to move an ashtray that I had sitting on the table on the back porch, bam!! out from the under side 4 or 5 of them flew out. I wonder which one got me? Boy did it hurt at first, it's been about 30 minutes now took some advil, my finger is all swollen up but it don't hurt as much.

Other than that, I feel pretty good this morning. Was going to maybe move the bar into the garage but it is supposed to get into the 100's today. Think I may just veg in front of the puter or TV and stay cool.

Went into work to see the guys I work with the other night, I really enjoyed that. BS'ing with the Night Ops crew it was fun. That was the highpoint of my day really. I work with a very good group of guys. Unfortunately there were a couple guys that were not there that night, 1 is in the hospital, I hope he is ok, he's in my prayers, another guy had the night off. I'm gonna have to catch him on the flip flop, I owe him a home cooked steak anyways, so I may have him over in a few days.

The guys said I looked really good, a little thinner but other wise good. I have lost some weight I think It's due to not drinking beer any longer, only lost about 10 pounds so far.

Later All


NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!     NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!

4th Round Toast

Did my 4th round yesterday. The nurse came in with my blood count results and said that they were off the table!!!! Somewhere over 200!! She said that, that was unheard of, so it looks as if I got some very good bones.

The doctor mentioned it too and said I looked better and calmer. I think I have come to accept this a little bit more. Why this happened to me I will never know. Maybe the lord up above sent me this disease in order to show me that I needed to turn my life around, I was a very hating, non caring person. Especially to strangers and my fellow man. If I did not know you, or you did me wrong, I would end up dispising you for the rest of my life. Forgiveness was never part of my vocabulary.

I was also very fond of watching chicks, all chicks. Lusting after them you might say. I did not give my lady the respect she deserved and constantly looked a women in her presence, to make a long story short I was a real asshole to my lady and almost everybody else.

That's I why I think God sent me this message. I have since did a complete 180. My lady is happier I can see it in her face, I am happier and alot calmer as well. I don't hate any longer and since forgiven all those that have ever done me wrong. I have come to realize life sucked when I hated so much.

I would like to thank the Lord for showing me the errors of my ways, if that's what he did.

I do feel better, very very much better, better than I have felt ever actually I do not know if it is the anxiety medicine I am on, the no drinking, eating a little healthier or just fighting this disease and the chemo drugs working. I have no idea, but I will say this, I'm happier now.

4th Round of Chemo Today

Go in for my 4th round today, counting this one I have 3 more to go I think before they give me a CT scan to see how these treatments are working. I myself think they are working, to tell you the truth I have not felt better in years. I think that they maybe mixing a steroid in there, I'm not sure. I do know that during the week I feel good as well, so that means something I think.

Still have not done that record stand yet, been feeling tired the last few days, my wife thinks it's the chemo pill I take everyday, I agree. I usually have to take a nap in the afternoon to feel normal the rest of the day.

I plan on going into work tonight to visit the guys, was gonna do it last week but wasn't feeling up to it, my boss said the guys were a little disappointed. The lady baked some goodies for everybody, she loves cooking for people, so the guys will be happy, they get some homemade goodies.

Feel pretty good this morning, got up a little early. Got out of bed at 0530 this morning, was gonna go back to bed but was craving a coffee so I decided to stay up. Well, gotta go get ready for my appt.

Later All

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!   NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!